Need a Lttle Hope Right Now?

This is my new favorite book! WHAT TO DO ON THE WORST DAY OF YOUR LIFE shows you how to handle your crisis right now. Inspired by King David (1 Samuel 30) and his worst day--he returned from a 3 day battle to find his wife and kids kidnapped, his home burned to the ground and financially bankrupt all in ONE day. Now that's a bad day. To make matters worse, by the end of the day his army wanted to kill him for it because they were in the same boat. King David did TEN things to survive this terrible day and his wisdom and insight is exactly what so many of us need during our current crisis! This is a PERFECT gift and must read for anyone going through a terrible time--be it financially, relationally or physically. My only hope is that Brian Zahnd expands this book (the size of THE PRAYER OF JABEZ) into a full on Bible Study so we can dive into this insight even more.

Okay, Donald...the Right Move

Wow, Donald Trump made a smart move amidst "politically incorrect" unrest. He just chose NOT to remove Carrie Prejean as Miss California amidst the controversy of her no-gay-marriage stance. Good for you Donald. I mean I expected him to follow suit of the attack on Prejean, an attack that was only waged because of her conservative Christian views, no matter what the media tries to say. Yes, it is a shame that she succombed to pressure and did photos in her underware last year...something EVERY single model is pressured to do in their career. I will tell you though the ONLY reason those pictures were tracked down and published was because they had a smear campaign on this young girl after she was ambushed with a loaded question and answered it according to her Christian views...this was/is a spiritual battle this young girl is under.

Reaction to Celebrity Apprentice Finale

Did you catch the season finale Sunday night of this season's Celebrity Apprentice ? Trump's pompus attitude is rather unappealing at best. I mean he acts all put out when someone shows some dislike for someone, yet seems to forget his embarassing tirade he had with Rosie O'Donnell last year. Melissa Rivers and Jesse James were cut down by Trump in the middle of their response during the finale when he asked them questions. Melissa had gotten very offended when she was cut from the show weeks before and had a minor temper tantrum--which as a female I've been guilty of a similar scene I must admit. Trump wouldn't let it die ...hello Trump...you were significantly MORE immature during your Rosie O'Donnell tantrums, now come on! Trump was the one who ended up looking bad on Sunday's finale. Then there was Trump's attack on Jesse James (married to Sandra Bullock & brilliant entreprenuer in his own right) about how he had confronted Dennis Rodman on the show to do an "intervention" to help him get sober. Jesse acted as a hero and in the best interest of Dennis, yet Trump, again, tried to cut down Jesse and say his was wrong to talk to him like that. If Trump would have only listened to what others were saying he'd see that Jesse was being a great guy and caring about his fellow person! Joan Rivers (the WINNER), Melissa Rivers and Jesse James were the ones who shined this year as having character.

To All The Moms--You're Appreciated!

Happy Mothers Day! I heard a fabulous Mom's Day message. You can see & hear it LIVE at 9, 10 & 12:45 (CT) today, Sunday at http://www.gatewaypeople.tv/ or during the week you can hear it during the week at http://www.gatewaypeople.com/.

I also noticed that Dr. Laura just came out with a book "In Praise of Stay-At-Home Moms." Sounds like a great book. If that describes you, check it out. Too often stay-at-home moms don't get credit for all their precious work!

Depth in Unlikely Places

I was already a huge fan of the book Same Kind of Different as Me. That book shocked, convicted, inspired and moved me. If you haven't read it yet, go out today and pick up a copy. You will fall in love with "Ms. Debbie" and you will be utterly inspired at the depth of Denver and impressed with the honesty and human-ness of Ron.

Yesterday Ron Hall and Denver Moore came and spoke live at First Friday to about 2000 ladies. Ron is a humorous, honest, engaging, & dynamic speaker who had us at the edge of our seats the entire time. He brought Denver up at the end of his talk to sing for us and share for a few moments. Though his speech at times mumbles together and is hard to understand, every single word is such incredible depth & wisdom it is shocking that he has never been able to read or write and has never spent a day in school. Clearly this man hears from God--he speaks truth.

Okay so if you know nothing about the book, here's my review I wrote when I first read it, so some of the above will make more sense.

You must read this book. You will be humbled, encouraged, challenged and heart broken as you read this gripping true story of three very different people with more in common that you can imagine. Have you ever felt worthless? Ever wrestled with prejudice or apathy? Or have you felt you were better than someone? Come on now, haven't we all at some level felt all of these feelings at one time or other? Read SAME KIND OF DIFFERENT AS ME. It will show you the world from another's eyes. You'll see how we lose out for judging others so quickly, no matter their race, social status or gender! SAME KIND OF DIFFERENT AS ME is the true story of Ron Hall, a wealthy art dealer, his precious wife Debbie Hall and Denver Moore, a homeless man who never had a chance in life--not even a chance to go to school. They meet up when Ron's wife Debbie begs him to join her in volunteering at a homeless shelter. My oh my, we all have so much to learn. Ever think God was a respecter of persons? Then read this book and think again. If you ever wondered how God can use you, even if you feel you are worthless or unimportant, then read this book. Denver Moore may have been an uneducated homeless man, but God loves him and has/had a specific plan for his life from the day he was born...a plan bigger than he could have ever dreamed! God has used him to change me. Thank you Denver and Ron for sharing your story. Thank you Debbie for living your life free from regrets! May I take your challenge and live every day of my life as though it was my last, no matter the circumstance. Read the story of Ron, Debbie and Denver and change your life today!

Notice the NOTICER!

Every once in a while a book comes along that is so empowering you have to read it in small doses, yet keep finding yourself coming back to it often until you’ve finished every word. The Noticer is one of those gems. A follow up to Andy Andrew’s The Travelor’s Gift which I also enjoyed, this new one is his best yet, offering a depth comparable to C.S. Lewis’ The Great Divorce and Till We Have Faces. What is this book even about? Jones (not Mr. Jones), an old drifter comes through Orange Beach, Alabama and transforms lives by paying attention and simply noticing what is really going on in their lives. One by one he offers them a fresh perspective—something we ALL can use. It is a book of common wisdom pulled together through an amazing, moving tale that grips you from the opening page. You will find profound statements throughout this book that you will underline and ponder over and over. I am confident the wisdom shared will find relevance in your own life, such as page 13 “whatever you focus on increases;” of page 65 “It takes a truly wise person to discern that oh-so-thin line between good and best;” Page 110 “Change is immediate! Instantaneous! It may take a long time to decide to change…but change happens in a heartbeat;” Page 111 “Have you ever considered how often we judge ourselves by our intentions while we judge others by their actions?” And these are just the tip of the iceberg. Pick up The Noticer and dive into the adventure of a new perspective!

The Secret to Being Prepared for the Crisis

Just got the news today that there was a MAJOR shakeup at my favorite publishing house and all but one of my friends are gone from there, just like that, in an instant. Some had been there over 20 years! Changes....we don't always like them, do we? And this is not exactly the easiest time for even the most talented people to be looking for work. It is, however, the time to put into practice all the stuff we have been writing about in Christian publishing these past few years and stand tall during our hard times. I heard Heather Mercer speak last week (she was the missionary who was held prisoner in Afghanistan during 9-11). One of the profound insights she shared was that ONCE a crisis hits you no longer have preparation time, you are just THERE stuck with whatever you put into your head up to that moment. And it was at that moment when she realized that it was the Scriptures, yes those simple memory verses she learned throughout Vacation Bible School and morning devotions over the years, that she had chosen to memorize throughout her life that came flooding back to carry her through her life threatening crisis.

Don't you get it? It was what she had ALREADY prepared for that came back to save her. What are we doing to be prepared for the unexpected in our own lives? None of us knew 9-11 was coming, but it did. No one REALLY thought our economy would collapse, but it did. My friends didn't think the new president of the publishing house would really let everyone go in less than a month, but he did.

Get ready. Prepare by absorbing the Bible each and every day. It never grows old and you get something new out of it each and every day. Pastor Robert Morris gave the most profound Easter sermon I've every heard in my life thus far (check it out at Gatewaypeople.com). We aren't perfect and we never will be, but we serve a God who was and is and is to come. He is our covering and he is right here to carry us through ANY unexpected moment of life. Are you prepared? Do you have a relationship with him?

We may never find ourself in a foreign prison facing the death penalty for talking about Jesus like Heather Mercer, but we WILL face circumstances that will be tragic and in those moments, will you be prepared by knowing God's word by heart? I challenge you to begin today to memorize Scripture and hide it in your heart. Those words will flood your mind when you need them most!

Mercy for Mistake?

News and any Live television is an over-the-top tense, crazy and insane business in Hollywood. The time pressure to do everything right this very moment or you blow it is unbelievable. James Brooks 1987 movie “BROADCAST NEWS” did an excellent job of reflecting that intensity. I freelanced live award shows for 16 years at such shows as the Grammy Awards to Golden Globes Awards and the intensity was always the same. Mistakes weren’t forgiven. One such time I will always remember was seeing one of my friends go in to make last minute script changes for Dick Clark. All changes are always done in DIFFERENT colored paper and inserted to all the key players' scripts (including the director, producer, stage manager and camera man). My friend copied her draft in the WRONG color and turned everyone into a panic. It was still 6 hours before show time, but it didn’t matter. I watched helplessly while they searched to find out who did the copying and had her escorted from the premises. She would not be permitted to even watch the show. Harsh punishment in my opinion. I was very disappointed at the meanness of it all. Sure they had the right to remove her from copying. But to treat her like someone who was caught stealing was ridiculous.

I made a mistake today. And because of that tiny error of not following one of the MANY instructions, the whole effort was for nothing. My mistake was on a fun job as a mystery shopper for a fast food restaurant I frequent. I decided to sign up for mystery shopping because it sounded like a no-brainer hobby to get paid to do something you do anyway. And one thing I do is eat out and dine in often whenever I write or edit. I did virtually everything on the 3 pages of single spaced small print. What I did wrong was not do something that was on the 10 pages of small print when I originally signed up for the company and that was to sit down for 15 minutes after my order was delivered to continue observation. Because of that I don’t get paid or reimbursed. Of course it’s not the end of the world, but it was very frustrating and unfair in my opinion.

The punishment wasn’t as harsh as the producers of the MTV Awards were to my friend. And I wasn’t humiliated in front of my favorite celebrities. But it still brought back all those memories of how harsh, unjust and unfair life can be in a world of an all-or-nothing mentality…. But isn’t that how life is? Think about it. You can put your whole heart and soul into believing in something or someone, but if you’ve chosen the wrong one to believe in, you’ve lost everything for eternity. You either get it right, and believe in the one true God or believe in a lie and lose your soul for eternity, no matter how sincere your mistake was. On my mystery shop I had every opportunity to get my instructions down correctly and I blew it. My friend’s accident of not copying the papers in the right color could have caused some major embarrassment to Dick Clark on live television. So many life-ending tragedies have happened when someone was putting in a well intentioned effort and just blew it for an instant. And good intentions have paved the way to hell for generations. Yes, life is hard, but Jesus came to give us peace and most important to give us a gift we don’t have to earn.

We can’t be perfect….believe me I’ve tried. the good news is we don’t have to be. Human beings have tried to be perfect or good enough to reach God since man began, but we can’t earn salvation. It is not something to be earned. It is a gift. Today reminded me of how wonderful a gift it is. Romans 10:9 tells us if we believe in our heart that Jesus is Lord and confess with our mouth that Christ was raised from the dead, we will be saved. I have received salvation already and I won’t be kicked out and not get to enjoy heaven, even if copied the wrong pages or forgot to wait an extra 15 minutes. I will be embraced and accepted and loved just as I am. And not only do I gain eternity with this gift, I get Jesus guiding me throughout my life, throughout my mistakes, disappointments and heartbreaks and I have found meaning in the midst of it all. Thank you Jesus for your ultimate gift of giving up your life for mine and for accepting me, mistakes, flaws, imperfections and all.

Faith of Our Father and The Bachelor

The latest episode of ABC's The Bachelor was the "meet the parents" episode of the season. 4 ladies got to bring Jason home to be checked out to see if he was son-in-law material. Each season there appears to be one bachelorette who has strong faith in Jesus or has a parent filled with faith, and this season was no different, although I was a little surprised to see which one. Naomi did not exactly come across as a bachelorette of faith. But when we met her family -- both her mom and her dad -- I saw why. Her mother is a reincarnation, new age, anyway to heaven kinda gal. Her father is a devout follower of Jesus Christ. I was so proud of him for sharing his faith so eloquently on national TV (he obviously knew the cameras were rolling). Naomi has faith in God, but I'm not sure how close she is to Jesus. Jason revealed he doesn't have a background of faith and it's not a part of his life.

As a relationship coach, I felt bad for Naomi as she is quite niave as many of my young coaching clients are at love. After elimination she went on to say that perhaps should have discussed faith early on in her relationship with Jason but all that really matters in any relationship is that you love each other and then everything else will work out. NO IT WON'T. Wake up and face the divorce rate. There is so much MORE to love than chemical attraction and feelings of love. No matter how much you THINK you love each other, if you do not have common bonds on the important areas of your life, then there will not be a happy ending. You can pretend there will be but you will soon enough realize you were wrong.

Thank you GA's & RAs!

Kids from across the country have been sending birthday cards to my 8 year old son Matthew. He is LOVING every minute of it and cherishing each and every card that appears in our mailbox and inbox on my computer. He LOVES being a missionary kid to Hollywood. Every time another letter shows up he says "I love being famous for loving Jesus!" Thank you so much GAs and RAs! Even though I can't write back to each and every one of you personally, please know that your cards have been so appreciated to a young boy who loves God and loves to tell his friends about Jesus. Keep praying for us and keep praying for your favorite stars in Hollywood! And hey, the Jonas Brothers just moved 3 miles away from us so my kids are on the look out for them for you. Thought you would enjoy that bit of news.

You CAN Reach Victory

Wow, these times are tough. This recession we are in is touching every corner of America from Hollywood to Manhattan, Chicago to Dallas, Christians to non-believers. On Friday I spoke at an event that is very special to my heart called FIRST FRIDAY. It's a monthly event we invite women throughout my community near Dallas/Fort Worth airport. It's real talk about real life for real women. Normally I'm the emcee of this event that draws over 400 monthly. This month I was the speaker sharing about my life in Hollywood and, keeping with the Valentine's theme, offering the secrets of how to consistantly experience love during the highs and lows of life and relationships. What a drama I had in the 2 weeks leading up to the event. I mean I had turmoil with a capital T! In the midst of my melt downs and anxiety, God met me and Gave me a new message which I shared at FIRST FRIDAY as well as on THELMA & FRIENDS the new TV show where I'm a recurring guest (think The View meets Women of Faith). The message God gave me is simply to REACH! Reach Up, Reach Over and Reach Out every day and especially everytime you're struggling. I LIVE this daily and I lived this throughout my two weeks of drama leading up to my event. A simple to remember action plan you all can follow...

1. REACH UP (call out to God) He sees you and He loves you. Read Psalm 139! During my
melt down this week I grabbed my dog and walked around the pond. For the 1st time in life I cried out to God “come on now, is this REALLY real or have I been investing my life in a scam?Are you really there, Lord?” IMMEDIATELY God answered. He REMINDED me of verses all that he's brought me through. And as I gazed on that still pond I remember Psalm 23--"He leads me besides still waters and he restores my soul." My soul was restored. Reach out to God. He's real!

2. REACH OVER (turn to your trusted friends for encouragement) In the midst of my drama, I called my trusted dear friend & co-author Karen Covell, and she lifted me up and let me know it was going to be okay. I REACHED OVER for help and was lifted up.

3. REACH OUT (reach out to your friends in need). I called a friend driving to chemo who just lost her hair over the weekend. Take yourself out of your crisis and jump over to help someone else. No matter WHAT you're going through, someone in your life ALWAYS has it worse and needs your help!

Reach Up, Reach Over and Reach Out and you will live a life of victory.

You just never know WHEN, but He's Working with HIS Plan

I must admit, again, God is just hilarious. In the midst of tough times and frustrations and wondering am I doing everything I'm supposed to be doing, God goes and shows up at the most inopportune moments and surprises me. Last Fall, the day I was diagnosed with Shingles ON MY FACE (yes, indeed I wallowed in a tiny bit of self pity for my less than glamorous appearance) I was contacted by MTV who wanted me to be a guest dating expert on one of their new shows "SEX...with Mom and Dad" which I of course did, Shingles and all offering up my very opinionated, conservative (and proven to work, by the way) relationship advice on national TV. Six months later, today, again God throws a precious opportunity on my lap when I wasn't prepared, and at a moment when I was once again frustrated and wondering am I meeting the needs of my audience? Am I making a difference anywhere? Am I hearing correctly or am I totally off track. I was invited by a friend to be in the small studio audience of her new TV show she was hosting. I'm such a fan of this amazing woman of God and her latest book--Wow it's powerful and deep--so I was of course going to be there. But I showed up early this morning dressed as I would dress for a studio audience member--business casual, average makeup and no frills on the hairstyle (to say the least). When I arrived...well not then, but rather 2 minutes before taping...I realized I wasn't in the studio audience, I was one of the 5 recurring guests sitting on the couch with her as part of her new show. I just had to laugh because I was not dressed with TV savvy. You should have seen my shoes! And my makeup was far from camera ready, and yet here I was (without Shingles this time) once again given a fun opportunity to reach and expand my audience with hope and skills to make better choices in love and life so they can live the life they've always wanted and God has planned for them.

I'm so thrilled we serve a God who is always at work even when we are clueless and whining and unprepared. Because even when we don't think we are are ready, HE is. And even when we don't.

I Met My Husband at the Golden Globes

Sunday was the 66th annual Golden Globe Awards. For 17 consecutive years I attended those awards--which by far are the most fun and glamourous evening Hollywood has to offer. They're even better than the Academy Awards because the show takes place in one ballroom where the stars begin with a cocktail party mingling with all their fellow stars and agents, producers, directors and colleagues. then sit down to their formal dining seats as the show begins. All who attend are free to approach and chat with any and every celebrity they have the nerve to approach. Security is tight, but once you're past the red-carpet you are cleared to mingle. I have many fond memories of chatting with everyone from Tom Cruise, Don Johnson, Sally Field, Kevin Costner, even Bette Davis on her last appearance before her death! I especially remember the 53rd annual Golden Globes as that was the night I met my husband. He was in town on business and just happen to be staying at the Beverly Hilton Hotel where the awards are held. We met in the lobby and before you knew it he had back stage passes, tickets to the after-party and my home phone number. Exactly 2 years later we were married in a fairy tale ceremony at the Crystal Cathedral, I retired from my agent career, and become a Hollywood Careers Coach and missionary.

Do We Need to Be FIRST to Matter?

Happy 2009! I hope that this is an exciting year that brings you good things despite any challenges you may be facing in this current economy.

I just was emailed a new website from a friend and was VERY impressed. It's called "I Am Second" http://iamsecond.com and shares amazing stories from people you may know, including American Idol finalist Jason Castro from the 2008 season. Check it out and see how the lives of these individuals have meaning by being 2nd rather than 1st.

EarthQuakes, Eli Stone and Jonah

Wow, I turned on my TiVO late last night and watched another episode of ELI STONE, one of my new favorite TV shows. You can still catch this particular episode on your computer, it's the 4/14/08 episode titled Waiting for That Day. In this episode Eli Stone has a vision that a major earthquake with hit in 3 days during rush hour traffic and destroy the golden gate bridge. He feels his only shot to save 100s, maybe 1000s of lives, is to sue the city to close the bridge at the anticipated time of the quake.

You'll have to see the episode for all that transpires, but here's the major take away...Eli does not take the easy road. He is passionate about his mission and that is to save lives, because if he doesn't speak up, who will? He knows the "truth" and does everything in his power--even compares his message to Jonah and the whale--to get people to listen to him. But he is mocked, ridiculed, humiliated, pitied and ignored. Will anyone ultimately listen to him and be saved?

It makes you think, are we doing enough to share the Truth? So many people WE KNOW personally go on living empty, painful lives. Are we sharing the life giving hope of Jesus? Or are we holding back and letting them die to save face and not look like a fool? Ouch...makes you think doesn't it. Watch the episode. And if you are inspired to make a difference pick up my book How to Talk About Jesus without Freaking Out.

Is it Time to Blow off Your Girlfriends?

Okay, okay, so most of you come to me for help with your love life. We talk about where to find men, how to get them to ask you out and how to get from date one, to two, all the way down the aisle. But lately a recurring theme is coming up in my coaching sessions, emails and fan letters, so it’s time for me to address the ever important area of friendships with other women!

Why are friendships with other women so important?
1. Women, how we love to talk. That is how we are made. And oh how that detail-oriented, non-stop talking can drive our men crazy. No worries. Girlfriends are great for sharing extreme details of our lives and usually they won’t get bored with your stories as quickly as our men.
2. Girlfriends are great for calling after dates so you can exhaust your excitement, prematurely tell them “this guy is the one for me,” and cover every detail of your moments with him. Why do this? Because if you let your new man know how into him you then you will scare him away before he can call you back. Be cool, share that info your girlfriends and keep your man coming back.
3. Girlfriends are our “elevator people”—people who lift us up and encourage us during the daily anxieties of life. If your friends are bringing you down and chipping at your self-esteem, it’s definitely time to move on from those friends and collect some new ones.

Because girlfriend, we were made for relationships! And when our pool of female friends is lacking to say the least, we find ourselves isolated and discouraged. These are the times in our lives when we find we just need more (or new) girlfriends. It could be that we’re still single and all our friends have married off, or we moved to a new place or we are just in a rut, isolated or hanging out with women who are just plain unhealthy for us. What shall you do?

You don’t have to call up your current friends and cause all this conflict. No. Just pull back and cease to call them all the time. While you pull back on time with these friends, step out to make new ones. Finding new friends can be as intimidating as looking for a man to date, especially since your self-esteem may be at an all time low. So here are my tips on developing more girlfriends to get you through your lifetime.

1. Get involved in your church. If you have been at your church “forever” and are in a rut, check out a nearby church and visit there. A great way to expand the quantity of friends is to visit a mega church near you and attend one of their functions (not just the huge church service where you walk in and walk out without meeting anyone.)
2. Go to your city’s website or one near you (all cities have one, just search Google for your community) and check out the upcoming events, get involved in the chamber of commerce or local charity organizations. Most of these events are run by women “in the know” who know lots of other “happening” women in your town.
3. Try out some hobby you’ve been thinking about. You’re bound to meet like-minded girlfriends there.

Wherever you go, make the most of each visit. Take the initiative and introduce yourself to at least two new women each time. Hey, they may be there for the first time too and they’ll be thrilled someone was nice to them and went out of there way to say, “Hi.”

Building lasting friendships involves time and effort and a willingness to give as much as take. It’s an investment well worth every minute. You were made for relationships ladies. And the time is now!

Are Celebrities Using Pregnancy to Nab their Guy?

The trend these days seems to be SINGLE celebrities getting pregnant. Wake Up Celebrities! Pregnancy Does Not Make your Man Commit! I’m not talking about Jamie Lynn Spears—she apparently is a classic example of a “nice teenage girl makes mistake and gets caught.” Instead I’m referring to the many other celebrities who are certainly old enough to know better yet are showing up pregnant from Jessica Alba to Halle Berry, 24’s Mary Lynn Rajsku to Nicole Richie, Matthew McConaughy’s girlfriend Camila to Tom Brady’s now ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan. Then there's Holly Madison, 28 year old girlfriend of Playboy tycoon Hugh Hefner, 81 who is reportedly trying to get pregnant according to Us Magazine. But that should not surprise us since she has willingly been one of at least 3 other girlfriends for years and marriage is one thing Hefner says he won't enter into again...and he's not officially divorced anyway.

Ladies, ladies, ladies, getting pregnant on your man DOES NOT make him faithful and committed. If anything it puts in an element of distrust that could very well last you the length of the relationship. If he marries you, as Scott Baio recently married his long time girlfriend after giving birth to his daughter, you’ll never be sure if he really loves you or was trapped into the marriage, and he’ll never know if you “accidentally” got pregnant or if you tried to trap him. Neither is the ideal way to start off a marriage.

And girls, getting pregnant MAY get you an engagement ring but it does not guarantee he’ll make that final plunge into marriage! Bridget Moynahan was dumped by Patriots quarterback Tom Brady before she delivered. Rumors are already rampant about tension in Jessica Alba’s relationship with Cash Warren. And I’m sure you have as many personal examples as I do of friends who were in the same predicament only to have their relationship crumble when the girl thought it was the only way she could finally catch her man.

No matter how desperate you are to capture this guy you’re in love with—don’t get yourself pregnant to catch him! It just doesn’t work and it is not good for your relationship. If that is the only way to catch your guy, believe me he is not worth catching and even if he marries you, you’ll never really have his heart.

This is not about picking on single moms. Many of my coaching clients are indeed single moms and it is what I learn from them that constantly reiterates how important my message is today because single parenting is a lonely, tough road, NOT because single parents don’t love their kids because they truly do love them. It’s that they are parenting ALONE with no time off and no other support!

Do yourself and your future children a favor, don’t do like the celebrities do and get pregnant—deliberately or accidentally—while you’re dating. That old nursery rhyme had good advice—1st comes love, then comes marriage then comes baby in the baby carriage.

Victorya's on a Blog Tour

Hey ladies, I'm on a blog tour the entire month of February! Below is my calendar as well as the link to each blog. Today I spoke to both author friend Mary DeMuth and a to a group of single moms at Heart Crossings. Check it out. You can also find my calendar on my website mantokeep.com. Click here to read more about a blog tour.

Victorya

The Automatic 2nd Date BLOG TOUR February 2008

1 Seeing You Through / Gail Showalter's Blog
Hosted by: Gail Showalter
Blog: http://seeinguthrough.wordpress.com
2 A Peek at My Bookshelf
Hosted by: Deena Peterson
Blog: http://deenasbooks.blogspot.com/

4 She Plants a Vineyard
Hosted by: Tina Ann Forkner
Blog: http://www.tinaannforkner.blogspot.com/
7 Writing: My Adventure in Words
Hosted by: Ernie Wenk
Blog: http://ernsblog.blogspot.com/
Heart Crossings
Hosted by: Heart Crossings
Blog: http://www.heartcrossings.blogspot.com/

7 Mary DeMuth - Shoutlife Blog
Hosted by: Mary E. DeMuth
Blog: http://www.shoutlife.com/maryedemuth
(Log in to Shoutlife required)

8 Books, Movies and Chinese Food
Hosted by: Deborah Khuanghlawn
Blog: http://books-movies-chinesefood.blogspot.com/

9 The Writing World According to Dwan Abrams
Hosted by: Dwan Abrams
Blog: http://dwanabrams.blogspot.com

11 God Uses Broken Vessels
Hosted by: Angie Breidenbach
Blog: http://godusesbrokenvessels.blogspot.com/
11 F. A. I. T. H. Following.Always.Intently.Trusting.Him.
Hosted by: Angie Breidenbach
Blog: http://writingbyfaith.blogspot.com/

12 His Heart, My Desire
Hosted by: Beverly Dillow
Blog: http://www.hisheartmydesire.blogspot.com/

13 Broken Hearted Girl
Hosted by: MJ Acharya
Blog: http://www.brokenheartedgirl.com/

14 Age is Just a Number: Adventures in Online Dating
Hosted by: D.S. White
Blog: http://aijan2.atwc1.com/

17 The Authentic You
Hosted by: Anita C. Lee
Blog: http://www.theauthenticyou.blogspot.com/

19 Sormag Online Tours
Hosted by: LaShaunda Hoffman
Blog: http://sormagtours.blogspot.com

20 A Daisy a Day
Hosted by: Daisy Spencer
Blog: http://giveuadaisyaday.blogspot.com

23 Boomer Babes Rock!
Hosted by: Allison Bottke
Blog: http://www.boomerbabesrock.com/blog/

29 Camy's Loft
Hosted by: Camy Tang
Blog: http://camys-loft.blogspot.com/

10 Years and 27 Dresses

Last night my husband Will and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary. Due to health crisis with two close family members we didn’t go on that exotic romantic vacation we both had envisioned for this milestone. Instead we went to a nice Italian restaurant and talked and talked about our courtship, our marriage, our kids and our future. And oh my how we laughed about our different perspectives about various experiences during our now 12 years together including our two years of dating. (FYI I’m still amazed how two people can be in the same place at the same time and see the event in two completely different ways, but that is a different blog for a different day.)

We thanked God for our many, many blessings in spite of the annoyances of any of our difficulties we are currently facing and I left that restaurant knowing why I married Will in the first place…soooooooo glad I held out during my trying single years and didn't settle for anyone less than the man I had dreamed about since childhood--even when I feared I'd never meet anyone else if I let the current boyfriend walk away. And I'm so thankful for all those cute guys who dumped me when I wasn't strong enough to break up with them. Short term pain is so much better than long term suffering. Time and time again, I have learned that the good things in life are indeed worth working for and waiting for. I held out, it paid off and we're still going strong 10 years down the line!


Back to the anniversary...we left the fancy Italian restaurant filled with plenty of warm fuzzies. I then I forced my husband to go to a movie I WANTED TO SEE! After all, it was my anniversary and I didn’t get to go on that anticipated vacation. The least he could do is suffer through a romantic comedy rather than a bloody action adventure… He kept the peace and went along with me to see the film 27 Dresses!

Okay ladies—I just LOVED 27 Dresses! The cast was great and writing was smart and it wasn’t your predictable, typical romantic comedy/wedding movie. Katheryn Heigl is adorable as the people pleaser, blissfully engaged in helping other’s dreams come true. And James Marsden (the Prince from Enchanted) was perfect as the wedding reporter who is smitten by Heigl. And guess what? Even my husband enjoyed the film—it had all the gushy stuff ladies love and enough smart humor for men. In my opinion, it was the perfect date movie, even if you have to drag your date in the door!

Fresh Start for the New Year

I just love New Years. I'm one of those who actually enjoys making New Years resolutions. I mean, why not give yourself motivation to make some much needed changes in your life so you can live the life you always wanted! Let 2008 be the year for YOU...the year you finally care enough to find out what you really want in your life and love and write it down. I was reading several books over the holiday. One terrific book is Henry Cloud's "The Secret Things of God" which takes "The Secret" to whole other level. One of the secrets he reveals is what I see confirmed daily with my clients and that is "You attract relationships that fit you." (pg 101) He goes on to say that if you keep finding yourself with "losers" for lovers and friends then your "people picker" is broke and needs fixin'. That was true with me until I finally looked at what I had been getting and where I wanted to go. That awakening dramatically changed my "people picker" and my husband was the very next man I dated. We're about to celebrate our 10 year anniversary. Want more for the new year? Check out The Secret Things of God. Want a new and fulfilling love life? Check out The Automatic 2nd Date.

Happy New Year.

Victorya Michaels Rogers