Girlfriends are meant to get you through a lifetime. I’ve often said that to my audiences but I really came to grasp the depth of that statement this year. Sometimes we don’t even realize how much we need each other until we are in a crisis. This has been a sad year in the Rogers household. We lost both my in-laws within a few months. My father-in-law died in the Spring and my mother-in-law died the same day as Steve Jobs from the same cancer. Through both losses my girlfriends amazed me by their generosity and selflessness, even in the midst of their own circumstances and hectic schedules. What was so special about that is I’m not the best at asking for help. Oh I’ll give and serve, but feel awkward when I’m the one in need (I still haven’t figured that one out). But that didn’t stop my girlfriends.
They just joined together and showed up. Get this--5 of my girlfriends showed up at my house 2 days before the funeral with cleaning supplies in hand and CLEANED MY HOUSE! They cleaned my house! Countless meals were delivered, notes, phone calls, letters, thoughtful little trinkets and gifts. Earlier friends offered to help with caregiving and one dear friend just showed up on our anniversary and insisted on sitting with my mother-in-law so Will & I could go out on a date! Oh and I loved the basket of munchies, Kleenix and disposable toothbrushes another brought for the 4 of us during a long hospital stay. Another made the programs for both services... I could go on and on with all the generosity. In the midst of all their giving and serving, each of my friends have very busy lives. Yet they let themselves be inconveniently interrupted to help me in my time of need.
If you have female friendships, you are truly blessed. You may not realize it until crisis appears, but I assure you, if you have not extended the effort to build lasting friendship you will indeed notice the void when help is needed the most. Sure people are people and our girlfriends can bug us at imes. But guess what? We bug them too. Reality check, no one is perfect. But what we add to each other’s lives, really, outweighs any negative (unless you have chosen a toxic friendship which needed to be re-evaluated).
My prayer for you is that you reflect on each of your blessings this Christmas season. I especially want you to focus on the blessings of friendship. If you have a friend in need, step out of your comfort zone, be inconvenienced, and offer a random act of kindness--even if she doesn’t ask first. You will touch her heart in her time of need and end up giving yourself an emotional boost at the same time.Yes, girlfriends are here to get us through a lifetime! We will get by with a little help from our friends....Merry Christmas.
Showing posts with label female friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label female friends. Show all posts
Monday, December 05, 2011
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Is it Time to Blow off Your Girlfriends?
Okay, okay, so most of you come to me for help with your love life. We talk about where to find men, how to get them to ask you out and how to get from date one, to two, all the way down the aisle. But lately a recurring theme is coming up in my coaching sessions, emails and fan letters, so it’s time for me to address the ever important area of friendships with other women!
Why are friendships with other women so important?
1. Women, how we love to talk. That is how we are made. And oh how that detail-oriented, non-stop talking can drive our men crazy. No worries. Girlfriends are great for sharing extreme details of our lives and usually they won’t get bored with your stories as quickly as our men.
2. Girlfriends are great for calling after dates so you can exhaust your excitement, prematurely tell them “this guy is the one for me,” and cover every detail of your moments with him. Why do this? Because if you let your new man know how into him you then you will scare him away before he can call you back. Be cool, share that info your girlfriends and keep your man coming back.
3. Girlfriends are our “elevator people”—people who lift us up and encourage us during the daily anxieties of life. If your friends are bringing you down and chipping at your self-esteem, it’s definitely time to move on from those friends and collect some new ones.
Because girlfriend, we were made for relationships! And when our pool of female friends is lacking to say the least, we find ourselves isolated and discouraged. These are the times in our lives when we find we just need more (or new) girlfriends. It could be that we’re still single and all our friends have married off, or we moved to a new place or we are just in a rut, isolated or hanging out with women who are just plain unhealthy for us. What shall you do?
You don’t have to call up your current friends and cause all this conflict. No. Just pull back and cease to call them all the time. While you pull back on time with these friends, step out to make new ones. Finding new friends can be as intimidating as looking for a man to date, especially since your self-esteem may be at an all time low. So here are my tips on developing more girlfriends to get you through your lifetime.
1. Get involved in your church. If you have been at your church “forever” and are in a rut, check out a nearby church and visit there. A great way to expand the quantity of friends is to visit a mega church near you and attend one of their functions (not just the huge church service where you walk in and walk out without meeting anyone.)
2. Go to your city’s website or one near you (all cities have one, just search Google for your community) and check out the upcoming events, get involved in the chamber of commerce or local charity organizations. Most of these events are run by women “in the know” who know lots of other “happening” women in your town.
3. Try out some hobby you’ve been thinking about. You’re bound to meet like-minded girlfriends there.
Wherever you go, make the most of each visit. Take the initiative and introduce yourself to at least two new women each time. Hey, they may be there for the first time too and they’ll be thrilled someone was nice to them and went out of there way to say, “Hi.”
Building lasting friendships involves time and effort and a willingness to give as much as take. It’s an investment well worth every minute. You were made for relationships ladies. And the time is now!
Why are friendships with other women so important?
1. Women, how we love to talk. That is how we are made. And oh how that detail-oriented, non-stop talking can drive our men crazy. No worries. Girlfriends are great for sharing extreme details of our lives and usually they won’t get bored with your stories as quickly as our men.
2. Girlfriends are great for calling after dates so you can exhaust your excitement, prematurely tell them “this guy is the one for me,” and cover every detail of your moments with him. Why do this? Because if you let your new man know how into him you then you will scare him away before he can call you back. Be cool, share that info your girlfriends and keep your man coming back.
3. Girlfriends are our “elevator people”—people who lift us up and encourage us during the daily anxieties of life. If your friends are bringing you down and chipping at your self-esteem, it’s definitely time to move on from those friends and collect some new ones.
Because girlfriend, we were made for relationships! And when our pool of female friends is lacking to say the least, we find ourselves isolated and discouraged. These are the times in our lives when we find we just need more (or new) girlfriends. It could be that we’re still single and all our friends have married off, or we moved to a new place or we are just in a rut, isolated or hanging out with women who are just plain unhealthy for us. What shall you do?
You don’t have to call up your current friends and cause all this conflict. No. Just pull back and cease to call them all the time. While you pull back on time with these friends, step out to make new ones. Finding new friends can be as intimidating as looking for a man to date, especially since your self-esteem may be at an all time low. So here are my tips on developing more girlfriends to get you through your lifetime.
1. Get involved in your church. If you have been at your church “forever” and are in a rut, check out a nearby church and visit there. A great way to expand the quantity of friends is to visit a mega church near you and attend one of their functions (not just the huge church service where you walk in and walk out without meeting anyone.)
2. Go to your city’s website or one near you (all cities have one, just search Google for your community) and check out the upcoming events, get involved in the chamber of commerce or local charity organizations. Most of these events are run by women “in the know” who know lots of other “happening” women in your town.
3. Try out some hobby you’ve been thinking about. You’re bound to meet like-minded girlfriends there.
Wherever you go, make the most of each visit. Take the initiative and introduce yourself to at least two new women each time. Hey, they may be there for the first time too and they’ll be thrilled someone was nice to them and went out of there way to say, “Hi.”
Building lasting friendships involves time and effort and a willingness to give as much as take. It’s an investment well worth every minute. You were made for relationships ladies. And the time is now!
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