It's All Turned Around When I Accepted Me

It’s the end of 2009 and the end of a DECADE. It went fast, didn’t it? As the year and decade comes to the end I’ve been doing a lot of reading and pondering about what has been and what is to come. Guess what? The next decade is going to be great! One book I came across is an inspiring small little book filled with affirmations that we can all benefit from--especially any woman who is going through an unexpected life transition be it a breakup, divorce, or loss or any type. Just one minute a day with Sonja Samuel’s little book WHEN I ACCEPTED ME can help you push through the pain and jump into hope and happiness. Here’s an interview with Sonja about this fun book:

Victorya: Sonja, Why write about accepting yourself and self-esteem and what are you meaning?

Sonja: Self esteem is the extent to which we like, respect and accept ourselves. It encompasses our beliefs, emotions and behavior. It has been said that 2 out of 3 people at any given time suffers from low self esteem, and low self esteem can negatively affect every part of our lives. The way we think is essential to winning over negativity and boosting self esteem.

Victorya: I agree we all have negative self-talk going on that can be very defeating. Why is self-esteem important to you?

Sonja: Self esteem is important to me because after dealing with a difficult separation and divorce, I found myself struggling to rebuild my self esteem. That whole experience had taken me down a road of despair and depression like I had never experienced before. High self esteem had never been a problem for me so when life became difficult and it challenged me to question myself, I was completely thrown for a loop. It caused me to question my self- worth and value, and in the end I really struggled with accepting myself. I started thinking something must be wrong with me. I had gotten lost in my emotions when it really was about what was going on in my head. High self esteem starts with what we think! Sometimes we suffer from ‘thinking stinking’ and that can present a different set of issues; overall, I learned that to develop high self esteem we must examine what we think because that is what shapes our perspective and allows us to accept ourselves along with the challenges of life from a more positive perspective than negative one. That’s why I focused my book on positive affirmations for accepting me.

Victorya: What are some things we can do each day to help build our self esteem?

Sonja: Here are seven simple steps that we all can do to help our self-esteem: 1) Smile often to yourself and to others. Greet others when you see them and ask how they are and how their day is going. This helps build positive relationships with others. 2) Eliminate the negative. When a negative thought enters your mind, stop and immediately counter it with a positive thought about the same subject. 3) Be nice to others and be nice to yourself. Conversely, don't degrade others and don't degrade yourself. 4) Face your fears and forget your failures (after learning from them). Focus on your achievements and successes. Reward yourself when you succeed. 5) Quit thinking about trying to be perfect. No one is, so just accept that as it is. Don't be too competitive and don't compare yourself with others. 6) Don't worry about what others think of you. Just be the best you that you can be. And 7) Hang out with positive and optimistic people who also have high self esteem and self confidence. But when you are around negative people, try to direct your positive and optimistic thoughts in their direction. Don't let them pull down your level of self confidence or self esteem.

Victorya: This all sounds great....plus I've read your book! How can my readers get their hands on their own copy of your fun book of affirmations?

Sonja: WHEN I ACCEPTED ME can be ordered from my website at www.sonjasamuel.com. It would be a great way to start the year and to recharge for the coming year. We are extending it at our special introduction offer of $14.95 because we want to get the book out into as many hands as possible. For me it is a tool for empowering others which is my personal mission in life.

Fresh Start for the New Year

I just love New Years. I'm one of those who actually enjoys making New Years resolutions. I mean, why not give yourself motivation to make some much needed changes in your life so you can live the life you always wanted! Let 2008 be the year for YOU...the year you finally care enough to find out what you really want in your life and love and write it down. I was reading several books over the holiday. One terrific book is Henry Cloud's "The Secret Things of God" which takes "The Secret" to whole other level. One of the secrets he reveals is what I see confirmed daily with my clients and that is "You attract relationships that fit you." (pg 101) He goes on to say that if you keep finding yourself with "losers" for lovers and friends then your "people picker" is broke and needs fixin'. That was true with me until I finally looked at what I had been getting and where I wanted to go. That awakening dramatically changed my "people picker" and my husband was the very next man I dated. We're about to celebrate our 10 year anniversary. Want more for the new year? Check out The Secret Things of God. Want a new and fulfilling love life? Check out The Automatic 2nd Date.

Happy New Year.

Victorya Michaels Rogers

Being Thankful for New Beginnings

Happy Thanksgiving weekend! I hope you had lots of food and time for reflecting and being thankful for the blessings in your life, ESPECIALLY if you are going through a hard time right now. We all have things to be thankful for, no matter how miserable our circumstances.

If your 2007 included a devastating or unexpected loss, be it divorce, death or a breakup, you most likely have plenty of unanswered questions and a mixture of confusion, sadness, anger and guilt. If this was your year thus far, here's some good news. You have been blessed with a new beginning. Whether you wanted to be single again or not, you are. Good is going to eventually come out of your misery. Thank God for the opportunity to start over. Fresh beginnings are exciting, even when they're scary. This is an important season in your life to take care of you and spend time reflecting on what you REALLY want for the rest of your life. What do you dare dream for your future? Now is the time to do so. Write it down, ask God for help and get ready for a new life in 2008.

In my difficult times I have always found a way to lift my spirits when I focus on the blessings in my life and the opportunities that lie ahead for me from my current starting point. I challenge you to write out 10 blessings in your life right now. If you are really ready to lift your spirits, stick with this exercise and write out 100! Yes, I said 100. Everyone can come up with 100 things in their lives they are thankful for. For example, in 10 seconds, here are some of my blessings--God loves me, my kids are awesome and adorable and healthy. I'm healthy. I live in America, I live in a cozy home, I have plenty of food, I have transportation, My heater works in this winter air, I have a wonderful family, I have an adorable dog even tho' he still wets on my floor... Get the point, I just wrote out 10 things off the top of my head that are big or little blessings in my life. You can do this too.

May you realize many hidden blessings in your life this week!

Here's to many blessings in new beginnings, even when they're not unexpected!