Thankfully, Bristol Broke it off!

Less than 3 weeks after the US Magazine announcement of an engagement, Bristol Palin has called off her engagement to Levi Johnston. As painful as breakups are, this will ultimately be such a blessing that it ends NOW rather than after the wedding because believe me, this guy is trouble. Anyone who would betray someone the way he betrayed and sold out Bristol and her family would certainly do it again. And forget the excuse that he was young. Character is developed early and this is a guy who not only sold out his ex-girlfriend's family for media attention, he also rushed out and took it all off in a PlayGirl spread. Yes, Bristol, mourn the loss of love and the loss of your dream of you two being together, but know that one day you will be thrilled with your decision to end it for the second time! (Check out the whole story here: http://hhvx.com/BristolPalin.)  

Ali chooses Love...Will it Last?

Bachelorette Ali Fedotowsky steps out with fiancé Roberto Martinez in Hollywood after the season finale revealed she accepts his proposal. An adorable couple I rooted for all season, I wish them both the best, but have doubts they'll make it in the long run with their impulsive decision to move in together right away, oh my. Sadly, couples who live together before marriage have an even higher risk of break up than couples who wait for marriage to cohabitant. Not only that, Ali & Roberto have the Bachelor/Bachelorette curse of less than 10% making it down the aisle. The show has exactly two couples who have. And although last night was the franchise's highest rated finale since 2004, as a Love Coach my main concern for the couple's chances of success is that they have rushed into moving in together, long before the relationship has had any time to mature. Such a bummer. Ali & Roberto had the most in common, the strongest chemistry, and best shot of a life after the show. Yes, she really liked Frank too, but even if another girl did NOT come back in the picture, Frank was not the best choice for Ali when you look at the whole package--he had recently given up a solid career to pursue a Hollywood dream of writing a yet unwritten screenplay and still lives at home...not exactly currently in a place to support a wife. I'm all for pursuing your dreams, but he could have written his screenplay and kept his day job until he got his break!).

Back to my point about why I'm bummed they rushed to move in together. Once a relationship rushes into sex, communication and respect slow down or cease because the focus is on chemistry. Now that they live together he no longer has to work at winning her over and the relationship will settle into everyday life of "playing house" long before there is a foundation and history together other than the bubble of a fantasy relationship developed in front of the cameras. Thus a relationship that had all the potential to work out in the long run may fall apart merely because they skipped the vital step of laying the foundation. Time will tell.Finding A Man Worth Keeping: Dating Secrets that Work

The Bachelor repeats Sleeping with the Enemy?

Jake & Vienna

Jake & Vienna make their much hyped face to face appearance tonight on "The Bachelorette" to explain their breakup after their "He said, She said" interviews they both sold to tabloids. Of course I tuned in for relationship "research" for my readers. Here's the deal girls....I had watched Jake's season on ABC's "The Bachelor". Yes, Vienna has issues getting along with women and had every gal in the house hating her. Yes, she is alienated back home in Florida and doesn't get along with women anywhere. Thus, she has a little work to do in interpersonal relationships. BUT, when you watched the interview between the he two of them tonight, oh my, Jake didn't come out looking very good. In fact he reminded me quite clearly of a leading character in the Julia Roberts starring film Sleeping with the Enemy! He came across as a controlling, angry, freak, oh my. Girls. I have been happily married for over 12 years to a great guy. And you know what? If he measures a room and arranges our furniture and I don't like it, I'll whip out that same tape measure and give my own "expert" opinion. And he won't freak and say "You undermined me." He's knows ahead of time that I'm opinionated and I'm going to do it. Also, if I ask him directions and he tells me exactly where to go, I'm going to whip out my GPS anyway and type in the address and he won't get all angry and lose his attraction for me, he'll instead expect it and yes he'll comment in an irritated voice "Why did you even ask." These two examples are exactly two examples Jake gave to plead his case that Vienna didn't respect him and totally undermined him every moment and that "no man would be attracted to a woman like that." Whew....I could go on and on, but let's just say, ladies, if you're man is that insecure, controlling and troubled when you're dating, don't walk down the aisle, because if self-respect is what you want, he is not a man-to-keep.

Where we EAT can change our Life...Really?

Stuck on the freeway on the way to have breakfast with a Single mother of 4 this morning, I popped in the CD of author/speaker Devi Titus and re-listened to her talk on THE TABLE. I was so convicted and inspired all over again. I had gone through her HOME EXPERIENCE study 3 years ago -- the beautiful coffee-table-book is prominently displayed in my kitchen to remind me of the life I want to live daily. Today I was reminded of her core message--that actually SITTING DOWN and having a daily meal, face to face with our kids as a family makes all the difference in the world on their life and ours! Much more depth to the message than this brief summary, but so worth your time to pick up one of her two books--every Mom (single or married mom) needs this material--you will benefit tremendously from this wisdom about how WHERE we eat daily affect the quality of our current and future life.

Home Experience by Devi Titus

Is Date Night needed or overrated?

Went to see DATE NIGHT with my husband and a few other couples on our regularly schedule "date night".  My review of the film? During several scenes you'll burst out laughing a little too loud as it rings true to your life. It's a funny premise in concept, but several scenes are tacky--they didn't need to "go there". Good enough to see once, just not over and over. Take away from the movie? Have regular DATE NIGHT's with your spouse and strive to keep it as exciting as when you were dating. For more of my take on dating your spouse, read my latest article on SouthlakeMoms.com

What we Think About and what we Want

I'm in the middle of reading neurologist Dr. Caroline Leaf's new book THE GIFT IN YOU--discover new life through gifts hidden in your mind. And it is a surprisingly good book. It's not too "scholarly" that we can't understand it and yet Dr. Leaf offers cutting edge, ground breaking insights into the latest discoveries in research on the brain. Quite intriguing read since Solomon announced in the book of Proverbs over 3000 year ago that indeed we are what we think. My Uncle Darwin always mentored us with this wisdom as we were growing up. Now here's a book where science validates and confirms what the Bible has been claiming and Dr. Leaf gives practical tips on how to "retrain" your brain to stop stinkin' thinking that defeats and sabotages your dreams and start thinking healthy, empowering thoughts that will help you get where you want to go.

Are we REALLY Ever Ready to Give Up What Annoys Us?

I've been on a reading frenzy since New Years and one of the books I devoured was a book I read 16 years ago, a little known fiction book from CS Lewis called THE GREAT DIVORCE. This book tells a tale of ghosts who venture out on a field trip which offers them a choice of heaven or hell...all they have to do is choose...and give up what annoys them anyway. Will they choose heaven or hell? I got so many new things out of it this time around and saw so many things in ME that needed reflection, pondering and yes, giving up. The Great Divorce is a quick, easy read with great rewards. Here's my take on it http://hhvx.com/CSLewis. I heard my friend Ken Wales is exploring making a movie out of it...ooh that would be so cool. Hope it happens and wouldn't it be perfect to have Anthony Hopkins in the CS Lewis role again.

Could you be like Heidi Montag?

I saw that reality star Heidi Montag, at just 23, had 10 plastic surgeries in one day back in November and made it clear this will be far from her last. Married to fellow reality star Spencer Pratt, People magazine claims he was not for the surgeries as he thinks she's perfect as is, rather it was Heidi's personal obsession. Ladies, I don't have a problem with plastic surgery in general. I am saddened when it is clearly an addiction, because when it is an addiction, there is much more going on internally and emotionally. Heidi is empty inside and feels that physical perfection is going to fill that void, it's not. And besides physical perfection is an illusion. She was a beautiful girl before her first surgery in 2007 (if that was indeed her first) and yet that didn't fulfill her. I dive into the topic of if, when and how how often to indulge in cosmestic procedures in both my relationship books FINDING A MAN WORTH KEEPING and THE AUTOMATIC 2nd DATE. Check them out if you want insight on how to decide if it's for you. In the meantime, if you are contemplating going under the knife journal about it ahead of time to get to the bottom of the real reason you want the surgery. Is it to feel more love? Is it to be accepted? It it to feel worthy? What happens if you don't get those results? What are other ways to feel these results? Improving bad teeth, a crooked nose or other perceived flaws can do wonders IF you already love YOU and are emotionally healthy the way you are before the change. As you read this, if you find that you, like Heidi, feel empty inside and think that more beauty, more money, more something will fill your void inside, check out this link!

The Mystery of God's Will for your Life is finally revealed--Thanks TD Jakes!

Can't stop pondering the incredible message from TD Jakes last night as he was the guest speaker at Gateway Church's annual FIRST conference. TD Jakes dared to tackle the mystery of God's Will for our lives...and not just God's first will for every human (knowing God personally) but the specific, personal will for every individual person. In other words, what in the world are you here for? And how can you know what you're supposed to do? So many dynamic and profound insights given. For example, Jakes compared God's will to the will drafted by a loving parent for his children. He also pointed out how crucial discernment is for you to know when you've been given direction. And how if you really want something you have to ask, and God is not offend if you ask over and over. I so highly recommend everyone order the DVD or CD of this talk from Gateway. I could not do it justice to summarize it for you. Just know that it touched me deeply.

If He Can Change the World....Why Don't We?

Every once in a while you come upon an writer who is so gifted, eloquent and generous with his use of words and language that you literally can’t put the book down, nor cease from pondering the powerful message his words convey. Eric Metaxas, author of Amazing Grace: William Wilberforce and the Heroic Campaign to End Slavery is one such writer. His biography of William Wilberforce brought the famous eighteenth century abolitionist to life once again to a generation who never knew him. For those of you who don’t know the name Wilberforce, he was a British man of privilege who rose to power in Parliament at the young age of 24, met God, and passionately fought a twenty year battle to abolish slavery and a fifty year battle to win the emancipation of slavery throughout Europe (which finally happened just one day before his death in 1833). Not only that but Wilberforce also fought many other social injustice battles throughout his life and is credited for bring social conscious into existence. Eric Metaxas seemlessly pulls the reader into Wilberforce’s world as though you were actually there. He smashes the myth that the era was sweet and romantic and exposes a world of utter moral corruption and lawlessness along with the shocking truth that 25% of all women in Europe were prostitutes during that time, alcoholism was a way of life for the privileged and poor alike, public slayings were condoned, and religion was tolerated but frowned upon. In the midst of this, Wilberforce chose to make his life count and make a difference, never giving up despite unthinkable opposition. As we devour the pages before us, Metaxas pierces the heart of his readers to ponder not only Wilberforce’s impact on this world, but also to stop and ponder our own lives and to pray for guidance on what we were put here for, how we can make a lasting difference during our short time we’ve been given on this earth. Thank you Eric...and keep writing. I can’t wait to read your biography on Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

It's All Turned Around When I Accepted Me

It’s the end of 2009 and the end of a DECADE. It went fast, didn’t it? As the year and decade comes to the end I’ve been doing a lot of reading and pondering about what has been and what is to come. Guess what? The next decade is going to be great! One book I came across is an inspiring small little book filled with affirmations that we can all benefit from--especially any woman who is going through an unexpected life transition be it a breakup, divorce, or loss or any type. Just one minute a day with Sonja Samuel’s little book WHEN I ACCEPTED ME can help you push through the pain and jump into hope and happiness. Here’s an interview with Sonja about this fun book:

Victorya: Sonja, Why write about accepting yourself and self-esteem and what are you meaning?

Sonja: Self esteem is the extent to which we like, respect and accept ourselves. It encompasses our beliefs, emotions and behavior. It has been said that 2 out of 3 people at any given time suffers from low self esteem, and low self esteem can negatively affect every part of our lives. The way we think is essential to winning over negativity and boosting self esteem.

Victorya: I agree we all have negative self-talk going on that can be very defeating. Why is self-esteem important to you?

Sonja: Self esteem is important to me because after dealing with a difficult separation and divorce, I found myself struggling to rebuild my self esteem. That whole experience had taken me down a road of despair and depression like I had never experienced before. High self esteem had never been a problem for me so when life became difficult and it challenged me to question myself, I was completely thrown for a loop. It caused me to question my self- worth and value, and in the end I really struggled with accepting myself. I started thinking something must be wrong with me. I had gotten lost in my emotions when it really was about what was going on in my head. High self esteem starts with what we think! Sometimes we suffer from ‘thinking stinking’ and that can present a different set of issues; overall, I learned that to develop high self esteem we must examine what we think because that is what shapes our perspective and allows us to accept ourselves along with the challenges of life from a more positive perspective than negative one. That’s why I focused my book on positive affirmations for accepting me.

Victorya: What are some things we can do each day to help build our self esteem?

Sonja: Here are seven simple steps that we all can do to help our self-esteem: 1) Smile often to yourself and to others. Greet others when you see them and ask how they are and how their day is going. This helps build positive relationships with others. 2) Eliminate the negative. When a negative thought enters your mind, stop and immediately counter it with a positive thought about the same subject. 3) Be nice to others and be nice to yourself. Conversely, don't degrade others and don't degrade yourself. 4) Face your fears and forget your failures (after learning from them). Focus on your achievements and successes. Reward yourself when you succeed. 5) Quit thinking about trying to be perfect. No one is, so just accept that as it is. Don't be too competitive and don't compare yourself with others. 6) Don't worry about what others think of you. Just be the best you that you can be. And 7) Hang out with positive and optimistic people who also have high self esteem and self confidence. But when you are around negative people, try to direct your positive and optimistic thoughts in their direction. Don't let them pull down your level of self confidence or self esteem.

Victorya: This all sounds great....plus I've read your book! How can my readers get their hands on their own copy of your fun book of affirmations?

Sonja: WHEN I ACCEPTED ME can be ordered from my website at www.sonjasamuel.com. It would be a great way to start the year and to recharge for the coming year. We are extending it at our special introduction offer of $14.95 because we want to get the book out into as many hands as possible. For me it is a tool for empowering others which is my personal mission in life.

Snow on Christmas Eve!

We had beautiful 70 degree weather yesterday in Dallas/Fort Worth and today it's snowing! Yea! Isn't that how life is. One day is one extreme and the next is another. I find hope in that--especially on days that are really the pits. Next time your day brings you more than you can bear remember Scarlet O'Hare's famous words "After all, tomorrow is another day." And hold on to hope. Just know God has a personal plan for your life and it is for you to win! My favorite passage of scripture is Psalm 139. Read it this Christmas Eve along with Luke 2--the ultimate gift for all.

Merry Christmas 2009 and may 2010 be filled with blessings for you and yours!

Victorya

Choose to Change Your Thoughts!

I was given this CD series Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life over a year ago after appearing as a guest on Jennifer Crow's show HER VICTORY. It sat on my shelf until two days ago when I cleaned out my office and the title intrigued me. I've completed 2 of the 5 CDs. Wow, it was really great. Our negative habitual thought patterns (which we all have) really keep us from being all we can be! If you aren't exactly where you want to be and have ever felt like you "self-sabotage"--hello that's me!, you'll want to order this series. It can change your life! Way to go Jennifer Crow. Thanks!

Is Carrie Prejean Stupid or Vilified?

I just watched the entire interview with ousted beauty queen Carrie Prejean about the latest scandal about her alleged "sex tape" and this is another case of her being blasted in the media because of her being a conservative Christian speaking out on her beliefs. When I heard the rumor of the new scandal I was obviously annoyed thing "Girl, how dumb can you be, especially if you knew you had a tape out there!" Let's just say it is worth watching the interview on The Today Show (November 10, People section). Her "sex tape" was not her having sex with herself or anyone else. Actually if was a dumb choice of hers to do what is now commonly known as "sexting"-- a one time text of a short video she took of herself only on her phone for her boyfriend when she was 17. The lesson she says is really for all teens across America and that is everything you do affects you for the rest of your life and can come back to haunt you. She was not proud of her actions, tho' she never thought it would come out or that her ex even had the clip still on his phone. But she feels it only enhances the message she shares in her new book Still Standing. Though the media will continue to try and vilify her because she is a conservative, her message is worth hearing, girls, please think before you grab your camera -- there is NO privacy these days with the access to Facebook, MySpace and Twitter. What you do is out there for the world to see and you to regret! And I can't end this blog without sharing my agreement with her on her point that if she were a liberal non of this would be in the press. It's interesting, isn't it, that there is free of speech for a liberal point of view, but when it is a conservative point of view the media goes on a mission to discredit and destroy. It has become politically correct to be everything anti-Christian but for those who speak up for Jesus, you will be vilified in the media....hmmm, doesn't the Bible tell us that will happen? Sad but happening. Check out the link below for the full interview at the Today Show (November 10, People Section)

Man do I have a story!?!

Great post by Chip MacGregor today. He's a top literary agent in the publishing world. As you may or may not know the publishing world changes constantly and in this economic downturn it is one of the hardest hit industries. .As a published author who fills my how-to books with my stories (by focusing on my readers' needs), I so get what Chip Macgregor is talking about here! Great wisdom offered for free here! If you're not already famous and you dream of publishing your life story, read MacGregor's entire post. Chip Macgregor tells it like it is! But don't let that discourage you, rather read to the end and get his wisdom on how you can STILL reach your dream--make YOUR story useful for other's struggles by helping THEM conquer what you already conquered rather than making it all about you.

My favorite game of all time

Cleaning out my office and just came across my ticket stubs from Aug 2, 1997 Anaheim Angels vs Chicago White Sox at Anaheim Stadium...always one of my favorite games of all time...didn't remember who won, but I do know it was the night my man proposed. Aw....never has the national anthem brought such tears...or was it the ring on my finger.

Just looked up the score that game and the

Angels prevailed over the White Sox 5-2

Up until that night my favorite rendition of the national anthem was Whitney Houston's at the Super Bowl.

Wild Things too dangerous for Kids under 12

Okay, so if your kids are having a lot of nightmares parents, please consider what you're allowing them to watch simply because all the kids are watching it. Read these silly parent comments from parents who carelessly let their kids go to any movie that comes out (PG, R, whatever). I bet they wonder why their kids don't sleep well! I won't be taking my 7 & 8 year old. USA TODAY REVIEW And let me finish my rant by saying how irritated I am when I go to an adult comedy, like a Will Ferrell or Adam Sandler movie and see many families with young kids in the audience. Come on parents, do you all talk like that at home? Sad if you do.

The Perfect Gift for Every American

I just finished reading THE AMERICAN PATRIOT'S BIBLE "the Word of God and the Shaping of America". I didn't know what to expect and at first I was skeptical thinking "hey, are they going to try and analyze every prophecy in the Bible and trying and say it's all about America. But that IS NOT what this book is about at all. Instead it is a prolific Study Bible that includes history and notes throughout every page revealing our spiritual heritage in AMERICA and how the Bible openly and unapologetically formed our American values and uniqueness among nations. I was blown away by how often our Presidents throughout our history have not only acknowledged the necessity of the Bible but also quoted from it often! If you are an American, rush out and get this Bible and see what America really used to be about instead of what it has become in the last few years. Every student, parent, soldier and citizen should read the inspiring TRUE, FACTUAL and TRACEABLE accounts of our spiritual heritage and editor Dr. Richard G. Lee has passionately put it in one volume within the pages of this special Study Bible with authentic quotes straight from our history pages. As you can see, I truly LOVED THIS BOOK!

Shia LaBeouf and the God-sized hole

Pray for 23 year old mega star Shia LaBeouf. The star of both Transformers movies plus Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is on the cover of PARADE magazine for June 14 and confesses he is mixed-up and doesn't have a clue what to do. "I don't handle fame well...." LeBeouf says. I have no idea where this insecurity comes from, but it's a God-sized hole. If I knew, I'd fill it, and I'd be on my way."

Like so many Hollywood stars, LaBeouf appears to have the the world at his feet with everything anyone could dream of and yet this self confessed alchoholic says he has no idea what life is about.

Pray that God will bring an authentic Christian into LaBeouf's life to share hope and Truth with him and that LaBeouf will be open to bring Christ into his life to fill that "God-sized hole".

Prayer changes things. Be part of the change for LaBeouf's life!

Need a Lttle Hope Right Now?

This is my new favorite book! WHAT TO DO ON THE WORST DAY OF YOUR LIFE shows you how to handle your crisis right now. Inspired by King David (1 Samuel 30) and his worst day--he returned from a 3 day battle to find his wife and kids kidnapped, his home burned to the ground and financially bankrupt all in ONE day. Now that's a bad day. To make matters worse, by the end of the day his army wanted to kill him for it because they were in the same boat. King David did TEN things to survive this terrible day and his wisdom and insight is exactly what so many of us need during our current crisis! This is a PERFECT gift and must read for anyone going through a terrible time--be it financially, relationally or physically. My only hope is that Brian Zahnd expands this book (the size of THE PRAYER OF JABEZ) into a full on Bible Study so we can dive into this insight even more.