Hey Moms, Get by with a Little Help from Your Friends!

I caught another episode of The-Judds, a reality series capturing the three week reunion tour of the mother-daughter country superstars of the 80s, Naomi and Wynonna Judd. Their dysfunctional relationship necessitated a therapist joining them on the road as they attempted healing as they faced their painful past. This particular episode included the release of other famous daughter Ashley Judd’s autobiography. Mama Judd Naomi was devastated to realize her lack of parenting skills caused lifelong pain to both famous daughters. What stood out to me in this episode, as they revisited Ashley and Wynonna’s childhood Los Angeles homes before fame, was that they did NOT have a support system. 

Naomi was a single mom of two young girls working 2 and 3 jobs to put food on the table and yet she had no support system. Single moms out there, in fact all women, we need support systems. The best support system I can guide you towards (outside of family when you have family of course) is to get involved with a local church--a great place to meet God and find friends to get you through a lifetime! Indeed, we get by with a little help from our friends! What better place to meet friends that at church? Churches these days have such wonderful support groups, especially in this age of mega-churches.

Here are just a few (of the MANY fabulous churches) with great support systems set up. In the Bible-belt where I live in Texas there’s my home church Gateway in Southlake (with campuses in North Richland Hills and Frisco). There’s also Fellowship Church in Grapevine, Oklahoma has Life Church in Edmond, California has Saddleback Church and so on. Wherever you are, get involved in your local church, be it large or small, and get the help and support you need.  Having recently had a death in the family, I was just amazed at how immediately my church family surrounded us and helped up put the funeral together and just be there for us. I’ve asked myself several times in my life: “What do people do who don’t have a church family in times of need?” The Judds episode tonight showed me what they do...they have a hard time. If you are out there going it alone as a mom, let me encourage you that there is support for you out there waiting to help--reach over for help from a church near you!

Wild Things too dangerous for Kids under 12

Okay, so if your kids are having a lot of nightmares parents, please consider what you're allowing them to watch simply because all the kids are watching it. Read these silly parent comments from parents who carelessly let their kids go to any movie that comes out (PG, R, whatever). I bet they wonder why their kids don't sleep well! I won't be taking my 7 & 8 year old. USA TODAY REVIEW And let me finish my rant by saying how irritated I am when I go to an adult comedy, like a Will Ferrell or Adam Sandler movie and see many families with young kids in the audience. Come on parents, do you all talk like that at home? Sad if you do.

The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Woke Me Up

I was flipping the channels on TV the other night and happened upon another reality TV show. This show documented the long process of choosing the 2007-2008 cheerleading squad for the Dallas Cowboy’s football team. This episode was their charm school portion of training. Beautiful young ladies were caught with less than perfect manners from biting off more than they can chew to many other lazy eating habits that we all so easily fall into—especially when we’ve been away from dating for a while.

Okay, even I was humbled! I’ve been comfortably married for 10 years now and my manners are not as perfect as they were when I was trying to impress my then boyfriend. I mean when I was single and actively searching for my man, I cared about how I looked, how I dressed, how I walked and how I ate every bite. While there’s no excuse for us getting lazy, too often we all do.

That is what makes it such a culture shock for ladies who find themselves back in the dating world after the divorce, death or break up of a long term relationship. Thus one of the first things to focus on is your overall outward presentation to the world when you get ready to jump back into the dating world. That includes your table manners, posture, clothing, hairstyle, make-up and even the articulation of the words you speak (i.e. “yes” instead of “yea”).

Here’s a fun gift idea for yourself this holiday season—why don’t you grab a friend and sign up for a local charm school. Or maybe even a new hairstyle or clothing makeover. We all deserve a little pampering.

Another way to freshen up your charm is to people watch. Notice how obvious single women act around single men. Are they more aware of their manners and attractiveness than women you see sitting with their husbands? What else do you observe? Not all the single gals will act how you prefer to act. Some will embarrass themselves with being way too provocative which only gains them a potential one night stand and little else. But what you will notice, overall, is that they care about how they present themselves. And that is something we can all work on.

This Thanksgiving be thankful for God giving you a fresh start and have fun reinventing your charming self. You and the world around you will be blessed.

Best Place to Meet Single Dads?

According to a brand new survey , the best place to meet single dads these days seems to be online. This interesting article found on the online dating site True.com included data from interviews with over 5000 single dads asking them why they were choosing to date on line and what the perks were for them as opposed to traditional dating. Check it out. It's always intriguing to hear men's perspective.

To all the Single Moms out There!

I hope you had an extra special Mother’s Day this year. I have a special place in my heart for Single Moms because aside from rarely, if ever, getting a break or “me” time, Single Moms also frequently get overlooked on Mother’s Day when their children are young because there’s not a Dad to remember to help the kids do something special for Mom. If your little ones forgot to pamper you yesterday, just know that it had nothing to do with any lack of love for their Mom. You are special and appreciated more than you know. Thank you for all that you do—all the hard work, the extra doses of love you pour into your kids when you'd rather sit down and relax, and each and every sacrifice you make. You will be rewarded one day. As the good book says: What you sow you reap; what you put out will come back to you. It may not be overnight, but it will be in due season. You will reap the harvest as you see your precious little one grow up.

Victorya Rogers
www.finderskeepersclub.com