FF Minute Feb 2014 - Victorya

What I Really Think About My Friends

Girlfriends are meant to get you through a lifetime. I’ve often said that to my audiences but I really came to grasp the depth of that statement this year. Sometimes we don’t even realize how much we need each other until we are in a crisis. This has been a sad year in the Rogers household. We lost both my in-laws within a few months. My father-in-law died in the Spring and my mother-in-law died the same day as Steve Jobs from the same cancer. Through both losses my girlfriends amazed me by their generosity and selflessness, even in the midst of their own circumstances and hectic schedules. What was so special about that is I’m not the best at asking for help. Oh I’ll give and serve, but feel awkward when I’m the one in need (I still haven’t figured that one out). But that didn’t stop my girlfriends.
They just joined together and showed up. Get this--5 of my girlfriends showed up at my house 2 days before the funeral with cleaning supplies in hand and CLEANED MY HOUSE! They cleaned my house! Countless meals were delivered, notes, phone calls, letters, thoughtful little trinkets and gifts. Earlier friends offered to help with caregiving and one dear friend just showed up on our anniversary and insisted on sitting with my mother-in-law so Will & I could go out on a date! Oh and I loved the basket of munchies, Kleenix and disposable toothbrushes another brought for the 4 of us during a long hospital stay. Another made the programs for both services... I could go on and on with all the generosity. In the midst of all their giving and serving, each of my friends have very busy lives. Yet they let themselves be inconveniently interrupted to help me in my time of need.
If you have female friendships, you are truly blessed. You may not realize it until crisis appears, but I assure you, if you have not extended the effort to build lasting friendship you will indeed notice the void when help is needed the most. Sure people are people and our girlfriends can bug us at imes. But guess what? We bug them too. Reality check, no one is perfect. But what we add to each other’s lives, really, outweighs any negative (unless you have chosen a toxic friendship which needed to be re-evaluated).
My prayer for you is that you reflect on each of your blessings this Christmas season. I especially want you to focus on the blessings of friendship. If you have a friend in need, step out of your comfort zone, be inconvenienced, and offer a random act of kindness--even if she doesn’t ask first. You will touch her heart in her time of need and end up giving yourself an emotional boost at the same time.Yes, girlfriends are here to get us through a lifetime! We will get by with a little help from our friends....Merry Christmas.

3 Secrets to Turn Bah Humbug into the Warm Fuzzies

3 Secrets to Turn Bah Humbug into the Warm Fuzzies Here are my tips for a fabulous holiday.

Moms....really? You let your kids watch WHAT?

Okay it's time for my rant to moms out there. Once again one of my kids friends went on and on about the rated R movie she watched with her parents and how scary it was and how she had bad dreams and hated it. For whatever reason, kids love to tell me stuff--I guess my kids let friends know what I do for a living and that I write books so they like to come talk to me.

Honestly, I so don't get how some parents--adults I enjoy talking to and seem to have it together--have this chip missing inside their brain that doesn't allow them to filter what is okay for kids and what isn't. Movies have ratings for a reason. And if it has been given an R rating, there are elements in the movie that have been deemed too harsh for young minds. By the way this rant also goes for parents allowing M-rated video games for their kids--seriously! Give me a break! Shockingly I hear about this more than I hear about the movies!

This particular child I'm referring to today was subjected to two horror films that her parents wanted to see so they turned them on cable when she and her 3 year old sibling were still up and had them watch it as a family. Both these movies are films I would not personally choose to watch because the subject matter is too disturbing for me--an adult! I asked her why she didn't just tell her Mom it was too scary. She said she did but her mom wanted to watch it.

I must say in every single incident where one of my kids friends have told me they've seen scary or risque movies in the past few years (my kids are 10 and 9 now) the kids said they were films their parents wanted to see. Thus it is quite clear that parents are thinking more of themselves than their role as a parent. I'm not judging the parents personal choice in movies THEY want to watch for them, but come on, you can watch them when your kids are asleep, in another room, or while at a friends house.

It is our job as parents to protect what goes into our children's minds during their childhood. If you have been blessed with the role as parent--then parent, don't be a "buddy" to your child. And that means protect, as best you can, what you permit your children to see. And FYI, if your kids are having recurrent nightmares, chances are they have been playing video games or watching media that is disturbing them.

Working it Out

Life doesn't always turn out like you planned--but you can survive, no matter what tragedy comes. That is the lesson of Working it Out: A Journey of Love, Loss and Hope by Abby Rike (from The Biggest Loser). What an amazing, precious autobiography that will break your heart and inspire you at the same time. I couldn't put it down all the way to the last page. And you don't want to miss the last 3 pages.

The Optimism Bias

I consider myself definitely an optimist--mainly because I believe God is in control, even when I have no idea what is going to happen. This was an interesting article, however, in TIME magazine The Optimism Bias

Happy Memorial Day

My first memorable Memorial Day was when I had just turned 8 years old and my parents surprised us with a trip to Opening Day of Six Flags Magic Mountain in California . We were with our family friends The Pettits and our all day adventure began with a visit to the military cemetery to honor one of the Pettits' family members who had died for his country. Yes, Magic Mountain was an absolute blast, and because it was brand new, few people knew about it in this remote city of Valencia so lines were non-existent and we road one of the roller coasters (The Goldrusher) 17 times that day! But another memorable part of that day for an impressionable 8 year old was that visit to the cemetery to think that my friends actually KNEW someone personally who died in war. Thank you to their family member and thank you for every American who has sacrificed for us so we can live this free life in our wonderful country that few other people in this world get to live. May we never forget and not take their sacrifice for granted.