Oh, the power of two! It takes two baby... two to mingle, two to tango ...But there’s more power in two than just a hit song. I’ve found the number to offer a power formula in navigating everyday responses, reactions, and recurrences of relationship challenges. It’s easy to react on impulse, without thinking about future ramifications--especially when our feelings have been hurt or we’ve felt unappreciated or discounted. Instead, from this day forward, I challenge you to be aware and deliberate in your choices by keeping my “It Takes Two” formula in mind.
What is “It Takes Two”? Probably not what you think I’m going to say. Sure there are always two sides to every relationship. And yes, it is always wise to see what OUR role is in every conflict. But what I mean by “It Takes Two” is to pause and think in twos before you make choices, reactions and decisions.
Ask yourself How will my choice right now affect my future 2 days from now? How about 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years, even 2 decades from now?
You don’t have to think through all five scenarios every time, but try three each time-- “How will this choice affect me 2 weeks from now, 2 years from now and 2 decades from now?”
Little everyday choices, seemingly innocent in nature at the start, are the spark that can completely derail a life all because an impulse was followed without thought of what would happen if...
For instance, flirting on Facebook with a long lost high school flame can tragically turn into a full on affair ruining your marriage, family and future--all beginning with “innocent” curiosity followed by a simple act of “add friend”. If only you had thought through “how will reconnecting with “Sam” affect me 2 days from now, 2 years from now, and 2 decades from now.”
This 2-2-2 formula works with any scenario in your life--be it choices of jobs, schools, discipline, church, eating habits, fitness, addictions, time management, etc. etc.
Here’s another one -- Uninterrupted 5 minutes-a-day with your spouse--just to connect and talk about anything. So often we get too overwhelmed, tired or distracted to carve out time to spend alone with our husbands (if he travels, try 5 minutes on the phone daily). Sadly, lack of emotional intimacy builds up, layer upon layer, all too easy in any marriage. How does two days of NOT carving out daily one-on-one time affect your marriage?--obviously, not severely. But if 2 weeks turn into 2 months then 2 years, the lack of intimate emotional encounters just may have left you 2 decades later as little more than married strangers with children who have left.
It Just Takes Two, Baby! Think this formula and you will see tremendous results! Make truth and consequences a conscious part of your life. Try it out today in your marriage, your parenting and all areas of your life-- Hmm...how will doing THIS affect me in twos? Starting right now, choose to make your next 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years and 2 decades what you really want your life to be by being deliberate in your choices.
Until next month!
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About Victorya:
Southlake Mom Victorya Michaels Rogers is a Life & Love Coach, equipping women to create and keep healthy relationships. Rogers’ authored four books, including Finding a Man Worth Keeping and The Automatic 2nd Date. Her latest release is the DVD “Straight Talk About Sex for Christian Couples” co-written with Sex Therapist Debby Wade. Victorya has been seen and heard on national TV, Radio, and print—from MTV to Focus on the Family, Cosmopolitan to Woman’s World. This former Hollywood agent is also an active REALTOR® at Coldwell Banker Residential. She’s part of First Friday Women and lives in Southlake, TX with her husband, Will, and their two children. Learn more about her Coaching services at www.Victorya.com.
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