Monday, May 30, 2011

Happy Memorial Day

My first memorable Memorial Day was when I had just turned 8 years old and my parents surprised us with a trip to Opening Day of Six Flags Magic Mountain in California . We were with our family friends The Pettits and our all day adventure began with a visit to the military cemetery to honor one of the Pettits' family members who had died for his country. Yes, Magic Mountain was an absolute blast, and because it was brand new, few people knew about it in this remote city of Valencia so lines were non-existent and we road one of the roller coasters (The Goldrusher) 17 times that day! But another memorable part of that day for an impressionable 8 year old was that visit to the cemetery to think that my friends actually KNEW someone personally who died in war. Thank you to their family member and thank you for every American who has sacrificed for us so we can live this free life in our wonderful country that few other people in this world get to live. May we never forget and not take their sacrifice for granted.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

It Takes Two, Baby--but it's up to You! (reprint from SouthlakeMoms.com)

Oh, the power of two! It takes two baby... two to mingle, two to tango ...But there’s more power in two than just a hit song. I’ve found the number to offer a power formula in navigating everyday responses, reactions, and recurrences of relationship challenges. It’s easy to react on impulse, without thinking about future ramifications--especially when our feelings have been hurt or we’ve felt unappreciated or discounted. Instead, from this day forward, I challenge you to be aware and deliberate in your choices by keeping my “It Takes Two” formula in mind.

What is “It Takes Two”? Probably not what you think I’m going to say. Sure there are always two sides to every relationship. And yes, it is always wise to see what OUR role is in every conflict. But what I mean by “It Takes Two” is to pause and think in twos before you make choices, reactions and decisions.

Ask yourself  How will my choice right now affect my future 2 days from now? How about 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years, even 2 decades from now?

You don’t have to think through all five scenarios every time, but try three each time-- “How will this choice affect me 2 weeks from now, 2 years from now and 2 decades from now?”
Little everyday choices, seemingly innocent in nature at the start, are the spark that can completely derail a life all because an impulse was followed without thought of what would happen if...

For instance, flirting on Facebook with a long lost high school flame can tragically turn into a full on affair ruining your marriage, family and future--all beginning with “innocent” curiosity followed by a simple act of “add friend”. If only you had thought through “how will reconnecting with “Sam” affect me 2 days from now, 2 years from now, and 2 decades from now.”
This 2-2-2 formula works with any scenario in your life--be it choices of jobs, schools, discipline, church, eating habits, fitness, addictions, time management, etc. etc.
Here’s another one -- Uninterrupted 5 minutes-a-day with your spouse--just to connect and talk about anything. So often we get too overwhelmed, tired or distracted to carve out time to spend alone with our husbands (if he travels, try 5 minutes on the phone daily). Sadly, lack of emotional intimacy builds up, layer upon layer, all too easy in any marriage. How does two days of NOT carving out daily one-on-one time affect your marriage?--obviously, not severely. But if 2 weeks turn into 2 months then 2 years, the lack of intimate emotional encounters just may have left you 2 decades later as little more than married strangers with children who have left.

It Just Takes Two, Baby! Think this formula and you will see tremendous results! Make truth and consequences a conscious part of your life. Try it out today in your marriage, your parenting and all areas of your life-- Hmm...how will doing THIS affect me in twos? Starting right now, choose to make your next 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years and 2 decades what you really want your life to be by being deliberate in your choices. 

Until next month!

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About Victorya:
Southlake Mom Victorya Michaels Rogers is a Life & Love Coach, equipping women to create and keep healthy relationships. Rogers’ authored four books, including Finding a Man Worth Keeping and The Automatic 2nd Date. Her latest release is the DVD “Straight Talk About Sex for Christian Couples” co-written with Sex Therapist Debby Wade. Victorya has been seen and heard on national TV, Radio, and print—from MTV to Focus on the Family, Cosmopolitan to Woman’s World. This former Hollywood agent is also an active REALTOR® at Coldwell Banker Residential. She’s part of First Friday Women and lives in Southlake, TX with her husband, Will, and their two children. Learn more about her Coaching services at www.Victorya.com.

Sunday, May 08, 2011

Hey Moms, Get by with a Little Help from Your Friends!



I caught another episode of The-Judds, a reality series capturing the three week reunion tour of the mother-daughter country superstars of the 80s, Naomi and Wynonna Judd. Their dysfunctional relationship necessitated a therapist joining them on the road as they attempted healing as they faced their painful past. This particular episode included the release of other famous daughter Ashley Judd’s autobiography. Mama Judd Naomi was devastated to realize her lack of parenting skills caused lifelong pain to both famous daughters. What stood out to me in this episode, as they revisited Ashley and Wynonna’s childhood Los Angeles homes before fame, was that they did NOT have a support system. 
Naomi was a single mom of two young girls working 2 and 3 jobs to put food on the table and yet she had no support system. Single moms out there, in fact all women, we need support systems. The best support system I can guide you towards (outside of family when you have family of course) is to get involved with a local church--a great place to meet God and find friends to get you through a lifetime! Indeed, we get by with a little help from our friends! What better place to meet friends that at church? Churches these days have such wonderful support groups, especially in this age of mega-churches.
Here are just a few (of the MANY fabulous churches) with great support systems set up. In the Bible-belt where I live in Texas there’s my home church Gateway in Southlake (with campuses in North Richland Hills and Frisco). There’s also Fellowship Church in Grapevine, Oklahoma has Life Church in Edmond, California has Saddleback Church and so on. Wherever you are, get involved in your local church, be it large or small, and get the help and support you need.  Having recently had a death in the family, I was just amazed at how immediately my church family surrounded us and helped up put the funeral together and just be there for us. I’ve asked myself several times in my life: “What do people do who don’t have a church family in times of need?” The Judds episode tonight showed me what they do...they have a hard time. If you are out there going it alone as a mom, let me encourage you that there is support for you out there waiting to help--reach over for help from a church near you!

Friday, May 06, 2011

From This Moment On...

I'm in the middle of Shania Twain's autobiography and looking forward to reading the rest. I've always been a fan of her music and concerts--one of the best live shows I've ever attended. She is one of those rare performers who connects to everyone in the audience--women, men and kids. After a very public betrayal by her best friend having an affair with Twain's husband, understandably her world came crumbling down. Several years have now passed and she's now slowly coming back into the public eye and has just released this memoir. It's not a bitter tale of "can you believe he did this to me" rather it's a touching memoir of a overcoming life obstacles and living "From This Moment On." Kudos to Twain...looking forward to her getting back in the studio to record another album.