Tuesday, September 06, 2005

A Kiss to Remember

One of my dear readers wrote to me and asked that I share my thoughts on a first kiss. Since I wasn’t clear if she wanted to know about a first kiss EVER or a first kiss with each new beau, I thought I’d answer both by covering the meaning of a very first kiss ever.

Aw the first kiss…. I just LOVE the movie “Never Been Kissed,” starring Drew Barrymore and that cute guy from “Alias.” I so relate to all Drew’s character’s feelings and torment she felt during her high school years. If you’ve yet to experience that one memorable moment of a “meaningful” first kiss, or if you just want to reminisce—rent that film!

My first kiss was not exactly as special as Drew Barrymore’s. I was 12 and “in love” with the preachers kid. My girlfriend felt the same about my brother, so we did what every controlling young girl did back then, we set up a game of "Truth or Dare" amongst the four of us and had prearranged with each other what the "Dares" would be. When my guy finally chose a dare (he kept asking “truth”, ugh) he was dared to French kiss me. I was so excited. A long, now humorous, story made short, the less than perfect first French kiss left me thinking this boy and I would be in love forever. Wrong! Rude awakening came the next day as my girlfriend and I ran into my brother and that boy. The four of us decided to go to the store to buy some candy. My brother saw his gal and warmly enough greeted her, grabbed her hand, and off they strolled. With a beaming smile I walked up to my boy expecting the same. What I got instead was: “What do you want? I don’t like you and don’t expect me to hold your hand!” Ouch, my first painful rejection! My girlfriend saw the whole thing and came back to console me. We continued the candy trip on ahead of the boys and life as I knew it was never the same.

How about you? Did your first kiss go better? I learned a lot from that encounter and much of it has been reinforced over the years that followed. Three things I learned were:

First off, you can not control someone else’s feelings OR their response.

Second, getting physical DOES NOT mean the same to a guy as it does to a girl. This cliché is proven true time and time again. Just because he’ll kiss you (or more) does not mean he has feelings beyond the physical for you and there’s nothing you can do in the physical to change that!

Third, those Cloud-9 emotions you feel before, during and after a kiss are NOT a tell-tale sign of longevity of the relationship NOR a sign of your own everlasting feelings for your guy. Your feelings are realistically a chemical reaction—a wonderful, romantic, amazing reaction—but not an enduring phenomenon. That doesn't mean you have to discount your feelings. Cherish them for what they are, especially since this MAY be your man-worth-keeping. And if that turns out to be the case, that is one memory you don't every want to forget.

Your Kiss to Remember: Take a moment to remember your first kiss and write it in your journal. At the very least, it is sure to bring a smile. Then dream up an ideal first kiss, like Drew Barrymore’s character did in “Never Been Kissed” and write that in your journal. You just never know, it could bring about an encounter just as romantic as you write on the page!

I welcome your feedback.

Victorya