Have you found yourself either without any dates or far too few to keep you content? Follow these tips and any woman can find themselves suddently attracting men. In fact, if you do these top five things, you can attract not just any man, but a date to keep! Those five things are:
Stand out from the crowd
Become a flirt
Show you are intriguing
Behave like a great date
Ask your friends to set you up
Stand Out from the Crowd
You would be amazed how simple it is to stand out from the crowd, in a good way, if you just take the time to care about yourself and how you come across to others. If you take the time daily to be clean, smile and stand tall, you will find you are attracting more and more potential keepers.
A no-brainer should be to pursue cleanliness and skip sloppiness. A daily splash of water and dab of deodorant can do wonders to your appeal to men. You can by-pass negative first impressions right now by simply starting your day with a shower. Turn offs to most any person are dirty fingernails, dirty hair, dirty teeth; messy car, messy home, messy clothes, dirty or messy anything.
After you have started your day with a sprinkle-a-day, light up the room with your smile! This is a great way to stand out from the crowd and it takes no preparation. It can be done at any time of day or night. We are not talking just any smile. Not a smirk or a halfhearted grin. Rather a fully engaged, eye-brightening, cheek-raising, lip-curving, teeth-exposing smile. A genuine smile can literally light up the room. Your smile is the warmest, friendliest part of your physical appearance. That expression tells others you are interested in them.
Remember those words your Mama used to tell you? Stand straight, Shoulders back, stomach in, chest out. Well Mama had it right. Your attractiveness is immediately increased when you sit, stand or walk with good posture. You transform both your confidence and your first impression by focusing on the way you carry yourself. Begin observing the women you admire the ones who seem to breathe confidence just by entering a room and begin mimicking the way they stand and walk. Notice the change in how others respond to you. It could be fun.
Be reassured that you do not have to feel confident before exuding confidence. Walking tall creates that confidence. Fake it till you make it definitely works when it comes to self esteem! Stand tall and you will come across as self assured (not pompous) and thus attractive, Even if your hands are sweating and your legs are shaking. People will want to either be with you or want to be like you.
Become a Flirt
A fun, non-direct way of attracting a great guy, without risking rejection of a more direct approach, is to become a flirt. Combine your new confident posture and charming smile, with appropriate, inviting eye contact and you have just become a flirt. Maintain eye contact for three seconds (five at the most so you do not freak him out) then casually look away. You can flirt your way right into the arms of the one you want. Plus if you stand with your arms uncrossed, you will send the message that you are open to meeting people. Practice this and you will reveal your interest in a safe-non-confronting manner. And if he does not come over and get your number, you do not have to feel rejected because you did not exchange words.
Show you are Intriguing. Everyone can be intriguing if they just go out and get-a-life rather than obsess on finding a mate. Author Rick Warren says We were made to have meaning [The Purpose Driven Life Rick Warren, Grand Rapids: Zondervan 2002, page 30]. Pursue your personal purpose, search for your meaning and you will become intriguing! What are your dreams, aspirations, hobbies? Pursue this life while you are searching for your keeper and you will inevitably become intriguing. Focus on these things in your life during the early stages of love, rather than on hardship, bitterness, or wrongs suffered and your date will be calling you again.
Behave like a Great Date. The ultimate dating secret for attracting a keeper was revealed more than two thousand years ago, and though found in the Good Book, it is seldom heeded. So follow it and you will attract a keeper! That secret is: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. [James 1:19] In other words, especially on the first three dates be quick to listen to his stories, slow to bombard him with wordy details of your stories and careful not to spew anger over past traumas or present insecurities.
How do you do that? Make the first three dates all about him! Start the date with small talk then steer the conversation toward your date and his interests. Actually listen to the answers before you respond.
The skills for charming a date are no different than establishing rapport with world leaders and famous people. Barbara Walters, who has done both, advises "Do not talk excessively about yourself at all in the beginning. Even if you;re an older woman and unmarried, it does not require an explanation.Take it easy on the personal confessions. It will come out as time goes by, when the relationship is well enough established that the skeletons in the closet will be considered amusing dicor. " [Barbara Walters, How to Talk with Practically Anybody about Practically Anything (Garden City, NY, Dell, 1970) page 191-182]
Sure you can interject information about yourself during the night, but do so briefly merely to show the things you have in common. Keeping your date in the spotlight keeps him invested in the evening--Bingo, your goal while you find out if he meets your list as a keeper--very important information to find out early on, before your heart gets way too involved.
Dale Carnegie once said, "One can win the attention and time and cooperation of even the most sought-after people by becoming genuinely interested in them." [Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1936) page 59)]. So show you are genuinely interested in the other person by looking them straight in the eye, not in a freakish stare down, but in a considerate gaze of I am listening to you.
Ask Your Friends to Set You Up.
To some degree we are all shy and insecure, that is human nature, some folks just camouflage their insecurity better than others. If flirting is not your thing, try letting a friend intrude on your love life! Several celebrities met their spouses this way, such as Cindy Crawford & Rande Gerber, Christina Aguilera & Jordan Bratman , Dennis Quaid & second wife, Kim, and Dave Navarro and Carmen Electra.
Many singles feel like complete losers asking friends for help at love, but if you ask in a fun, non-demanding nor desperate way, you will be surprised at how many people jump at the chance to get involved and set you up. This can be done by making up a wish list for your ideal mate, narrow it down to about a one to three paragraphs. Then come up with a short catch-phrase that describes your ideal keeper. My request for my friends was, "I am looking for the Five Ss --Single, sexy, successful, saved and sane. Know any available men like that?" When they took the bait, I would explain further. During one 18-month period of my life I had over 100 blind-dates and set-ups by friends, acquaintances and family members who were willing to get involved and 98% of those dates asked me out for a second date because I mastered the skill of the ultimate dating secret of making the first date all about him.
If a full-on set up is too intimidating for you, try the group date approach. You can have a few friends get together and bring another single friend to introduce to the group. This is not an official set up, so its clearly non-threatening, yet many sparks have been known to fly. Celebrities who met this way include Demi Moore & new husband Ashton Kutcher, and Clint Black & longtime wife Lisa Hartman.
If you have found yourself looking for a Valentine this year, follow these top five things: Stand out, become a flirt, be intriguing, behave like a great date and enlist your friends. Next Valentine's day you just might find yourself gazing into the eyes of your very own keeper.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Friday, February 03, 2006
4 Ways to Survive a Dateless Valentine's Day
There are great ways to spend a dateless Valentines that can actually put you on the path to ultimately find your man worth keeping!
1. Okay, you have permission to do something to spoil yourself today. Don’t go crazy. Just give yourself one treat. Carve out time during your day, even if it has to be on your lunch hour, to pamper yourself. Here are some options:
a. French manicure
b. new hairstyle, color or cut
c. indulge in a massage or facial
d. buy yourself an clothes, shoes, purse….something at the mall that you have been dying to buy but holding back. Just don’t mess up your entire budget. You want to pamper yourself, not punish yourself.
2. This is NOT the night to go out to eat—too many couples gazing dreamily across the table at each other. Instead, order your favorite take out or skip dinner and have a huge portion of your favorite dessert. While you’re enjoying your meal, pull out your journal a design your ideal man. Dream big. Write every character trait and every quality you hope he will possess. Where will you live? How tall will he be? What will his career be? How will he propose? What will the two of you do in your free time? How many children will you have? Just go for it and dream your entire future with this man you are creating.
What better evening to do so than when Cupid is flying around? My personal list included that my man would believe I was the best thing to ever coming into his life! I had an entire list including his height and weight. Certainly there will be things on your list you can live without, just put the most important qualities at the top of your list and the negotiables toward the bottom. Finish off you evening with your dessert and a polished version of your Man Worth Keeping. Now keep this list with you at all time, be it in your wallet or daytimer, so you’ll recognize him when he appears.
3. Another idea for the evening is to plan a girls night. Invite over your single gals for dinner and your favorite chick flicks or better yet, reminisce with a purpose. Have each of your girlfriends write out one page on all their previous relationships including the good and bad qualities of each man. Cross out any character trait that is not repeated and circle the ones that are. THEN each girlfriend writes out a personal WANT AD based solely on the circled character traits. Be creative in your writing and have fun with this process. Have each girl read aloud the Want Ad they’ve subconsciously been putting out there to attrack the men they’ve had thus far in their lives, you’ll laugh and cry at the same time.
4. Grab a friend or boldly go solo to the movie theatre for King Kong or Narnia or Nanny McPhee or Big Mama’s House 2, or The Pink Panther. If you dare see a romantic comedy, check out Failure to Launch with Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker. Certainly one of these will entertain your mood. Valentine’s is the perfect night for escapism.
1. Okay, you have permission to do something to spoil yourself today. Don’t go crazy. Just give yourself one treat. Carve out time during your day, even if it has to be on your lunch hour, to pamper yourself. Here are some options:
a. French manicure
b. new hairstyle, color or cut
c. indulge in a massage or facial
d. buy yourself an clothes, shoes, purse….something at the mall that you have been dying to buy but holding back. Just don’t mess up your entire budget. You want to pamper yourself, not punish yourself.
2. This is NOT the night to go out to eat—too many couples gazing dreamily across the table at each other. Instead, order your favorite take out or skip dinner and have a huge portion of your favorite dessert. While you’re enjoying your meal, pull out your journal a design your ideal man. Dream big. Write every character trait and every quality you hope he will possess. Where will you live? How tall will he be? What will his career be? How will he propose? What will the two of you do in your free time? How many children will you have? Just go for it and dream your entire future with this man you are creating.
What better evening to do so than when Cupid is flying around? My personal list included that my man would believe I was the best thing to ever coming into his life! I had an entire list including his height and weight. Certainly there will be things on your list you can live without, just put the most important qualities at the top of your list and the negotiables toward the bottom. Finish off you evening with your dessert and a polished version of your Man Worth Keeping. Now keep this list with you at all time, be it in your wallet or daytimer, so you’ll recognize him when he appears.
3. Another idea for the evening is to plan a girls night. Invite over your single gals for dinner and your favorite chick flicks or better yet, reminisce with a purpose. Have each of your girlfriends write out one page on all their previous relationships including the good and bad qualities of each man. Cross out any character trait that is not repeated and circle the ones that are. THEN each girlfriend writes out a personal WANT AD based solely on the circled character traits. Be creative in your writing and have fun with this process. Have each girl read aloud the Want Ad they’ve subconsciously been putting out there to attrack the men they’ve had thus far in their lives, you’ll laugh and cry at the same time.
4. Grab a friend or boldly go solo to the movie theatre for King Kong or Narnia or Nanny McPhee or Big Mama’s House 2, or The Pink Panther. If you dare see a romantic comedy, check out Failure to Launch with Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker. Certainly one of these will entertain your mood. Valentine’s is the perfect night for escapism.
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