The Rock of Love? Oh Please, Have a Little Respect for the Word

Okay, so some friends just got back from Rocklahoma along with 50,000 other people to see their favorite ‘80s rock bands, including Poison (heavy metal was never my personal thing so I passed). Thinking about their weekend, I just happened to see a promo for Poison’s lead singer Bret Michaels new reality dating show Rock of Love and decided to TiVo it. (http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/rock_of_love/series.jhtml)

The rock star, who’s already sold over 20 million albums, is set up with 25 women in a VH-1 version of “The Bachelor”. To put it mildly, this version of reality dating is far raunchier than ABC’s. Bret Michaels point blank lets it known that he sleeps around a lot and prefers loose women. And he announces that sex with a woman is just that. There are many women with whom he has “wild bus sex” and women who are his friends. His goal is to find a woman with whom he can have both great sex and friendship at the same time—that is the “spiritual rock of love”. He has no interest in monogamy during this search however. So ladies, for a shot of the rock of love be willing to be used. But hey, he’s a star so you can consider it a notch in your lipstick case, right? Wow, how sad.

So he’s good looking, wealthy, cool, famous and he notices you! Sounds too good to be true, right? Right. Is it enough? Nooooo! What about character, trust and monogamy? You can’t overlook major flaws like disloyalty, immorality and irresponsibility just because some highly desirable qualities are present! Why? Because you ALWAYS get the whole person in a relationship—the good, the bad and the ugly. And don’t hold out hope that you’ll be able to tame the wild one. The only person who can change anyone is the individual himself!

I could go on and on and on. During my decade as a Hollywood agent I was around celebrities and wealthy guys every day. Whereas it is always a blast to meet someone you admire, it is pathetic and unnecessary to throw out all your dignity, values, and self-respect in the process. So here is where I am going to rant.

Ugh. Have you ever been so discouraged that you just want to give up and quit? That is how I felt this week, not because I watched Bret Michaels dating show. This week I also had a half dozen of you update me on some of your ridiculous choices of pursuing wealthy and/or famous men who’s treatment of you is pathetic. In all six instances you continue to want to be involved because “he’s so famous” or “he’s so wealthy” or “he can transform my social life” and so forth and so on.

Do you ever listen to yourselves? Does a phony social persona mean so much that you don’t care about your private life? Do you think money will bring you fulfillment? If you do, then you are deceived. And you will continue to pay the price. I say continue because each of you are miserable right now and holding out false hope that he’ll suddenly show you respect, treat you well and choose you above all others. Your self esteem and that image you thought you’d gain from all this will be ripped from you leaving you feeling worthless, lonely and broken.

Whether he’s rich, famous or your normal bachelor, you have got to pay attention to what you get from your man from the very beginning. Believe what you are actually getting from this "relationship—his attitude, his vibe, his words and his behavior. If your man shows signs of a lack of character, you have to believe he indeed has a lack of character. More importantly you therefore need to believe he no good for you. Move on girlfriend. Please have a little respect for yourself.