Better to be Single and Solo than Married and Miserable Okay ladies, too many times we settle for our less than ideal man merely because of poor self esteem. This is a weakness of countless women regardless of age or race, social or economic status. I remember two distinct times in my dating years when I caught myself settling for far less than I deserved. One was with a handsome naval aviator…
I was just beginning to date when Top Gun was a hit movie so having my own Tom Cruise "Maverick" character was a dream come true, so I thought. But he was mean. Yes, he was cranky, withdrawn and on some of our dates he was quiet and boring, to say the least. But hey, he was hot and he liked me and wasn't I asking too much to be entertained and happy as well?
Hello! No I wasn't! We deserve to be adored and appreciated! Every woman does! The relationship (or whatever it was at that point) came to a screeching halt one particular date when he had taken me out to an exclusive “officer’s club restaurant. We were sitting at this beautiful setting with several tables around us filled with couples gazing dreamily into each others eyes. In contrast, we sat by each other in conspicuous silence. I even caught myself eavesdropping on the couples around me just to have something to do.That was my wake up call!
Did I (or do YOU) really want to spend a life being bored out of my mind? Is being with someone just because they're good looking or just because they'd ask me out for that matter, worth settling for an unhappy or unhealthy relationship? No way.
I chose to be alone at that stage in my life and wait for someone who actually wanted to talk to me. Let's be real. I was heartbroken and cried for days because he didn't seem to care I was out of his life. But I was willing to go through short term pain rather than long term misery. If a man chooses to leave you and you know he is not the IDEAL man for you, let him go.
Don't chase him, no matter how much it hurt. You deserve more.
It is better to be single and solo rather than married and miserable.
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2 comments:
Hi Victorya, I love your book and I know we deserv more than have broken heart, I just wonder if you have a book in Spanish, I would to share your book and advise with them but they cannot read English, I love everytthing you say, that give me support to continue with my love live and get what I want in a relationship.
Wonderful empowering message and so true. Even though I'm supposedly of the 'new generation' being at the end of the twenty-somethings, I still here it preached that a woman needs a man, especially from recently married (and younger) friends. I don't understand where this comes from.
I do very much beleive that women need to identify the self first and what their needs and desires are outside of a relationship to obtain one that is more fitting to their goals, and to be able to be honest with our partners(and with ourselves).
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