7 Great Ways to Beat the Holiday Blues

If you had to pick one time of year when feeling lonely was an easy task for most any single gal, it would hands-down be Christmas and New Years—far surpassing Valentines Day (as the February holiday doesn’t deliver long-lost relatives at your front door eager to focus on your lack of a spouse).

During all many Christmas’ past that found me without a boyfriend (much less my Mr. Wonderful), I managed to actually cherish that precious time of year and you can too.

Here’s are some tips to bring single gals joy to the world:

1. Remember the reason for the season. Yes, Christmas is a time for family and friends, but more importantly it is the celebration of the greatest gift of all which is the birth of our Savior. God gave the greatest gift to the world. Focus on His gift and in turn make an extra effort to give the gift of yourself this season by focusing on OTHERS!

2. Do something Nice for someone. When we look outward we don’t dwell on our hardships. And believe me, no matter how bad we have it or how pathetic our love life feels, there is always someone worse off than us. Cheer yourself up by helping someone else! Write down a list all the people in your life (neighbors, church friends, co-workers, school friends and friends of your past). Can you think of any needs that you can easily meet with your precious time or a sacrifice of a few funds? Be on the alert and keep your ears open. It could really be anything. Just use your imagination and pay attention to the needs of those around you. Last night my husband and I just had a friend stay in our guest room while they had a lay over at the airport. It saved them at least a $100 in hotel fees. I felt great about that and it cost me nothing!

3. Help the homeless by volunteering to help serve the holiday meal at your local downtown mission or local church.

4. “Adopt a family” from Angel Tree or other local charity and buy their Christmas list. You can take this on alone or pool your resources together with several friends for one family; I’ve done it both ways over the years. I get a name from a legitimate charity, contact the mom (usually a single mom on welfare) and I’d get her kids wish list and the clothing size of the mom because I always liked to buy her something too and turtleneck sweaters are always a hit during the winter. Then I’d shop and wrap the gifts (putting the list of the gifts on a closed envelope for the mom to know what she’s giving to whom). Then I’d deliver the wrapped gifts to the mom a few days before Christmas (we’d meet at a safe place, like Denny’s restaurant or other public place). That way the MOM got to give the kids the gifts and they didn’t have to think it was charity. Oh, and I always gave a Bible with the Mom’s name printed on it as my “witness” to them as well. I can not fully express the joy this gift giving has given TO ME over the years. There’s nothing like the expression on the mom’s face when she gets a trunk load of gifts for her kids and there’s even something unexpected for her.

5. Plan a Christmas Eve “Plus One” dinner. Christmas Eve is a great excuse to have friends over. You’ll be surprised how many people in your life don’t have a place to go that evening. Just ask around. I’ve continued this tradition even now that I’m married, because each year we have at least a few single friends and family that have no plans and they are such a rich addition to our evening! I usually have a pot luck dinner, read the Christmas story and do a fun gift exchange with a limit of $10 or less. One year I squeezed in 12 people for a holiday meal at my then 400 square foot apartment and it was a blast for all--we all managed to fit and even play some games! So don’t let size of your home keep you from entertaining.

6. Invite your friends to Christmas Eve service. There are two days of the year when even the most wild and self-proclaimed sinner will attend church IF asked—Easter and Christmas. Here’s your chance to introduce them to Jesus when it’s even politically correct to do so.

7. Go to a movie. Christmas Day is a great time, evening or afternoon, to head to your local theater. I’ve been doing that since my teen years. Some of the year’s best movies come out that day. And often family festivities are over in the early afternoon so you can find plenty of friends to join you.

Bottom line, focus outward, keep busy, have a plan, focus on Jesus, and you’ll find you’ve drawn closer to God, and built precious, lasting memories, even without a spouse! You just may even catch yourself humming “Joy to the World”.

Why We Feel the Way We Do

Ever wonder why sometimes we just feel like we're in a funk? You know, those yekky "day after fun" blahs. We may have had a rip roaring blast the night before and even laughed until we cried and then we just feel the blues the next day. More importantly, perhaps, you're in a relationship with some guy that you REALLY want to keep. You REALLY want him to want you back. And yet you feel these blahs. Perhaps it is because to be with this particular guy you find yourself acting in a way that is contrary to your own personal inner moral code (be it in the humor you use, "how far you go", the places and things you do together, the way you have to act to be around him, etc.)

Are you being yourself around him? You know the person you are proud to be and not ashamed of? Do you find you have to be an imposter around him and pretend you're someone your not just so he'll remain interested?

No matter how hard you try, you just can forget your personal moral code and remain happy. Those morals that are so ingrained inside of you that you can run but you can't hide from...those are the convictions I'm talking about. Our personal moral code comes from our faith--faith and our upbringing. Even if you disagree with those morals NOW, you have to take the time to convince YOURSELF with compelling, conclusive evidence that your new view is correct before you'll have inner peace while breaking that old "rule." Let me give you an example. Perhaps you were raised being told that dancing was a sin and as you grew up you decided that rule was silly, so you began to dance regularly. You still most likely will feel the blahs the day after a "dance all night" party until you have a heart to heart with yourself and really evaluate that belief that "dancing is a sin."

Some of the beliefs of our upbringing are false and just need to be evaluated. Sometimes we don't do things just because previous generations didn't do them with no logic behind the behavior. (Have you heard the story of the young wife who cut off the best end of a roast every time she made one just because her Mom and Grandma did, only to later find that the only reason that ritual began was because the great, great grandmother didn't have a big enough over to fit the roast?) Honestly look to see if perhaps some of your inner convictions are based on illogical rules someone forced on you. If that is the case take the time to deeply look at the reason for the "rule" and then honestly decide if it is a rule to follow or not. Taking the time to free yourself of the old rule can release you to enjoy a new life, maybe even of dancing :-)

HOWEVER, I have to tell you that if you can't justify breaking a moral and still feel good "in the morning" then, wake up, you're dealing with a true, inner conviction that God has put there. Yikes. It's can't be broken AND leave you peaceful and happy the next day. No matter how hard you try to ignore the conviction pangs, somehow, it will come back to zap your joy.

SO, if you want to be happy, you'll have to go back to being true to yourself and your convictions! And that may mean giving up your current guy--you know that hottie your not being yourself around-- so you can be free to find a man that loves you for you and your convictions! But let me encourage you today. Deep inside that is exactly what you want--someone that loves YOU, not an imposter.